18 valentine thoughts
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 93 15:14:03 PST
Subject: 18 valentine thoughts
[many forwards removed.... some paring down & reorganizing done - psl]
[First, from womyn]
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
- Lynda Barry
Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
- Judy Tenuta
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
- Dorothy Parker
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
- Rosanne Barr
Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.
- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
I married the first man I ever kissed.
When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.
- Barbara Bush
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy,
the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
- Ann Landers
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
- Mae West
[Then, from myn]
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without
even considering if there are men on base.
- Dave Barry
SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD:
Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money.
Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with
that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary.
- Joe Bob Briggs
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she
caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
- Steve Martin
What do I know about sex? I'm a married man.
- Tom Clancy
Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address
- Matt Groening
I said to my girl, 'Was it good for you too?'
And she said, 'I don't think this was good for anybody.'
- Gary Shandling
Get married early in the morning.
That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
- Mickey Rooney
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened,
so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
- Rodney Dangerfield
I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
I haven't had time for tobacco since.
- Arturo Toscanini
© 1993 Peter Langston