Fun_People Archive
19 Dec
And In Local News...

Date: Sun, 19 Dec 93 14:18:32 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: And In Local News...

 From: Keith Bostic
 From: Paul Schejtman
REDMOND, WA (JAN. 13) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced
Thursday that a beta release of Windows TP, the telepathic operating
system, was released to 1,500 test sites worldwide.
   Developed using the soon-to-be released Microsoft C for Neurons,
Windows TP bypasses awkward user interfaces by interacting directly
with the user's brain. Using the Microsoft MindMouse, users can
visualize images in their mind, and the application associated with
that image (or "thought icon") is executed. Users can visualize
pictures to create Windows Bitmap images, or think text directly into
Windows applications. Windows TP is fully compatible with all previous
versions of Windows.
   Data stored under Windows TP can be copied into the user's short-
term memory (the Windows TP Clipboard), or transferred directly into
the user's long-term memory using Windows' new 32-bit Direct Neuron
Access technology.  Users can then plug into other Windows TP systems
to transfer the data.
   Microsoft also announced the first application developed exclusively
for Windows TP. CyberMail is a mental mail system designed to
transfer messages by thought. Users visualize the person or company
logo they want to send a message to, followed by the message to send.
Microsoft has had a beta version of the application in use for several
   Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ:MSFT) is the worldwide leader in
software for personal computers.  The company offers a wide range of
products and services for business and personal use, each designed with
the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take
advantage of the full power of personal computing every day.
CONTACT: Microsoft Corporation Liz Wagthor, 206/555-8080 (CyberMail
address:  A short, dumpy lady, with shiny red hair, and a really gross
mole growing on the right side of her lip.  A blue tattoo on her right
arm says, "Billy G's the Man for Me.")
   NEW YORK, Apr 1, Reuter - Microsoft's new Windows TP has a long way
to go before final release, say beta testers of the product.
   Testers report numerous problems with the thought icons included
with the product.
   "I can see a fish tail representing some useful things, but the
Program Manager? It's just not intuitive," says Clyde Revlon, an MIS
specialist with McBalmy, Crain, and Larch. "Whoever came up with these
thought icons needs therapy. I'm sure the guy's Yorkshire terrier is
wonderful, but as the File Manager?  A golden retriever I could
understand. And that sweater the terrier is wearing, it's just too
loud.  Let me control the sweater."
   Testers also report dangerous corruption problems with the Direct
Neuron Access technology. "Colors, I smell colors. Dog, good dog, go
to the light mom," said Maggie Ferreaux, a consultant with Sharp,
Trenchant, and Blunt Computer Services.
   Other testers were less understanding. "I'm working on a
presentation, and suddenly all I can think about is pages A through
C of the Miami telephone directory. It took me three hours to get it
out of my mind. That blows my productivity right out of the water,"
says Max Pirenich, a salesman for Carp Technology. "Just thinking about
Excel scares the crap out of me."
   Microsoft officials acknowledged the issues, citing that no beta
release of a product is perfect, and vowed to provide testers with
the services of the same Neurologist that helped Microsoft Quality
Assurance recover from testing the product in its early stages. Many
Microsoft QA engineers are expected to lead long, productive lives.

[=] © 1993 Peter Langston []