Fun_People Archive
10 Feb
Banjo Exorcist Available

Date: Thu, 10 Feb 94 17:51:31 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: Banjo Exorcist Available

 From: "Bluegrass music discussion." <BGRASS-L@UKCC.UKY.EDU>
 From: "Chris Stuart" <cs10@CORNELL.EDU!cs10>

[Chris, quoting from Frank Godbey <UKA016@UKCC.UKY.EDU>  -psl]

>Enjoyment??  Banjos are cranky, loud, obnoxious, hard to get in tune,
>impossible to keep in tune, hateful beasts.  Yeah, I play; used to do it
>pretty well, too.  I'd describe the experience, when it's right, as
>transcending mere enjoyment; and when it's wrong-- pure agony, but it's
>still something I have to do, must do, am compelled to do, driven by
>unseen (evil?) spirits.  Who says the fiddle is the devil's *only* box?
>Banjo playing is not for the faint-hearted...nor is banjo listening.
>--Frank, having flashbacks to grumpiness 'cause it's more often wrong
>         than right these days  <sigh>

Announcing a New Service:

Banjo Exorcism

Ashamed of your affliction?  Tired of hiding banjo tabs under your bed?
Afraid you'll suddenly say "gum stump" at a socially inopportune moment?
For a very low fee I will fly into your hometown and rid you of your
compulsion to play banjo.   See breakdown of costs below:

Airfare: $800
Lodging at Finest Hotel in Area (2 nights): $300
Limousine to your house: $125
Scientific demonstration of why the banjo *can't* be tuned: $67
Chicken feathers: $14
Extraction of old strings: $223.45
Hypnotism tape: $99
Sledgehammer: $25
Posture correction: $1,356
Ceremonial bending of the finger picks: $220
Frank Sinatra Tapes: $230
Course book: "Women Who Hate Men Who Love the Banjo": $39.95
Special Mantra which turns the syllable "Earl" into meaning "oatmeal": $19
Follow up phone calls: $200
Professional Gratuity: $95.99

© 1994 Peter Langston