Date: Tue, 26 Apr 94 11:36:34 PDT
Subject: Bumper Stickers
Forwarded-by: Chris LaFournaise <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
My karma ran over your dogma.
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Is there life before coffee?
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
Honk if you love cheeses.
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
© 1994 Peter Langston