Date: Thu, 2 Jun 94 18:06:09 PDT
Subject: Musician Jokes
[A few stories from a very cool book called "Jazz Anecdotes" by jazz writer
(and bassist) Bill Crow. -psl]
George Wettling was driving back to New York through the Holland Tunnel
early one morning after a gig in New Jersey. Finding no other cars in the
tunnel at that hour, he stepped down a little too hard on the gas. His speed
attracted the attention of one of the tunnel guards, who phoned ahead to the
toll booth, where George was flagged down by a Port Authority cop.
"What's the big idea?" barked the cop. "You were doing sixty through the
tunnel!" George smiled apologetically. "Gee, officer. I saw a sign in there
that said 'Keep 45 feet apart' and I was just trying to catch up with the guy
in front of me!"
Trumpeter Johnny Best saw a sign at the bar of a Holiday Inn where the Bob
Crosby band was staying: HAPPY HOUR - ALL YOU CAN DRINK FOR A DOLLAR. Johnny
told the bartender, "Give me two dollars' worth."
One night as Gene Quill was leaving the bandstand at Birdland, a young
self-appointed critic accosted him.
"All you're doing is playing just like Charlie Parker," he accused. Gene
held out his saxophone. "Here," he said, "_you_ play just like Charlie Parker!"
Joe Lopes was having a little difficulty at a New York City bank. He
hadn't filled out a form correctly, and the lady who pointed out the error made
an impatient remark that Joe took as a reflection on his intelligence.
"Hey," Joe Bristled, "if you're so smart, what's a C-seventh?"
"C, E, G, B-flat," she replied.
From: Jazz Anecdotes by Bill Crow, Oxford University Press, 1990
© 1994 Peter Langston