Fun_People Archive
21 Jun
Concentrated OJ

Date: Tue, 21 Jun 94 12:40:25 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Concentrated OJ

Forwarded-by: elshaw@MIT.EDU (Libby Shaw)
Forwarded-by: Brian E. Bradley <>

Subject: Why O.J. Simpson must be innocent
From: (Mark Wutka)

O.J. Simpson CANNOT be guilty for the murders he was charged with, since the
two victims were stabbed to death.  After all, everyone knows that
Buffalo Bills *ALWAYS* choke!

Subject: O.J.'s new sponsor
From: (Ken MacFarlane)

Heard on one of the New York City radio stations (sorry, forgot which one):

"I tried to watch the Knicks game last night, but all I kept seeing were
 those Ford Bronco commercials."


Did you hear about the new drink called "The Simpson"?

OJ, a couple of slices, and a chaser

Subject: O.J. Simpson - irrefutable evidence
From: (Stephen Bruce)

Following is evidence that O.J. is not the killer:

   They only found one glove - Michael Jackson actually did it.

   If he murdered, it would Hertz his advertising career.

   The juice was capable of putting the squeeze on his ex-wife, but 
   never beating the pulp out of her.

   It is proven that murderers have little ability to think, but everyone 
   has seen O.J. concentrate.

   The pattern of stab wounds is irrefutable - any football fan knows 
   that O.J. could never cut to the left.

Subject: Now we now what "OJ" stands for...
From: (Rory Toma - 2nd Floor DSE)

What does OJ stand for?

Open Jugular


[On the serious side, I can't believe our society so strongly believes that it
owns O.J. Simpson that it will (a) televise the most intimate details of his
private life and (b) get huffy at the idea that he might have some human
failings, however egregious.  We're (most of us) nuts.  -psl]

[=] © 1994 Peter Langston []