English from the clue-challenged
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 94 12:17:51 PDT
Subject: English from the clue-challenged
Forwarded-by: email@example.com (Henry Cate)
By: Daniel Mintz
San Jose News, 8/22/83, Business Section
** All of these were collected by a businessman named John Ehrman,
a "computer professional" (whatever that is). Each one was actually
said or written ingenuously. My favorites are marked by **
COINING SOME PHRASES
"Things were all up in heaval."
"She had a missed conception." **
"To be a leader, you have to develop a \spear de corps/."
THEIR CLICHES ARE DOWN
"That's just putting gravy on the cake."
"That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell." **
"I flew it by ear."
"He works for that import-outport bank."
"We want to create an environment automatedly."
THEN THERE ARE WORDSMITHS...
"How should we amateurize the cost of the equipment over its expected lifetime."
"He sees things from an unusual vintige[sic] point."
"Would you like a craft of house wine?"
RUNNING OFF AT THE MOUTH
"I'm not going to get side-tracked onto a tangent."
WHEN TALKING BEARS VEGETABLES
"I can't hear what you're saying because of the noise of the celery I'm chewing
in my ears."
"All food must be removed from this refrigerator on Friday for cleaning."
"That needs some thinking about; let me go away and regurgitate for a couple of
"Things are so bad right now that even positions with people in them are
© 1994 Peter Langston