Fun_People Archive
15 Sep
Dear Dr. Nucleus

Date: Thu, 15 Sep 94 16:35:13 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Dear Dr. Nucleus

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: jim@Tadpole.COM (Jim Thompson)
Forwarded-by: Thu Sep 15 15:11:08 1994

Dear Dr. Nucleus:
    How come everytime I get into line at the grocery store it seems to
be the slowest one.  If I am in the "quick checkout" there is a lady who
is paying for  her 12 items with cash, pennies.  She is the soul of
conscientiousness: counting them out one at a time.  She is also checking
to make sure that none  of them are that rare one that her husband lost
in the penny jar back in '09.
    If I am in the "normal line," a guy is paying for $500 worth of lamb
chops and brie with the combination of MasterCard, non-personalized checks
and foodstamps.  By the way, he has also forgotten to get the mint jelly
for the lamb and will just run and get it.  The manager, a barely
post-teen, has to be found to initial the checks because the store does
not trust the checker, a woman twenty years his senior in both age and
experience.  What's even worse is that the double-dutch chocolate ice
cream I am holding close to my new silk blouse is starting to melt and
leak out of the carton.  But that's OK because the mint jelly guy is
sending the bag boy back to get some laundry spot remover he forgot.
Maybe I could club the sacker for the remover or better yet, hit old mint
    Still, I do manage some productive time by reading  the tabloids on
the racks.  Funny about Elvis, Michael, and Bill Clinton being aliens.
I never would have guessed Elvis.  So what causes all of this?  Which
line should I try?

	Your faithful lab assistant, Ashley

Ashley, so that's where you've been!  Get back to work and callout for
Chinese like I told you!

	Dr. Nucleus

Lab Managers, have your laboratory and assistants become completely
unmanageable?  Do graduate students insist on spending their stipends
on food  instead of the Edmund Scientific catalog items?  Help is on
the way!  Write me at:

	Dr. Nucleus
	P.O. Box 751
	Grover Beach, CA 93483

or email DrNucleus@AOL.COM

[=] © 1994 Peter Langston []