Fun_People Archive
21 Sep
Motorist stories

Date: Wed, 21 Sep 94 00:07:30 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Motorist stories

Forwarded-by: (Henry Cate)

Fresno (AP)
  A motorist used his car telephone to alert the California Highway Patrol
that a truck driver was weaving back and forth on Highway 99 south of Fresno
and seemed to be drunk.
  So, officers stopped the truck driver Tuesday night but found that he 
hadn't been drinking, Patrolman Jim Taylor said.
  Then, they checked the motorist who had telephoned them and stopped
behind the truck when the Patrol pulled it over.  The motorist failed a
sobriety test and was arrested for investigation of drunken driving, Taylor
  "The truck was probably going straight, and he was the one weaving,"
Taylor added.


A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at
speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror, he
noticed that a small object, followed by a trail of dust, was closing
fast.  His curiousity piqued, he slowed a bit to get a better look.  As the
object came into view, it was clearly a chicken.  While the man watched in
amazement, the bird whizzed by him.  He checked his speed as this happened:
could it really pass him when he was doing 35?

There was no way a chicken was going to make a joke of his sporty machine.
He slammed down the gas pedal and went screaming toward the offending fowl.
He grinned with satisfaction as he passed it, but a few seconds later, he
spotted it running even with him, staying in view.  He studied the bird and
noticed that it had three legs!  This was really strange.  Suddenly, the
chicken zipped ahead of his car, took a sharp left turn and disappeared
behind a haystack.

The man had to check this out.  He spun his wheel and barely made the turn.
As he came around the other side of the haystack, he had to stand on his
brakes to avoid a farmer, who stood complacently chewing a toothpick
and looking blankly at the car that nearly flattened him.  The chicken
stood nearby, not even breathing heavily.

The man got out of his car. "This your chicken?", he asked.  "Yup."  "How is it
possible that it has three legs?"  "Me and my wife, we raise 'em that way," the
farmer droned.  The man looked puzzled. "Why?"  "Well," came the reply, "you
sit down to dinner with your wife and a guest.  You like a drumstick?"  "Sure,
but..."  "And your wife, she likes a drumstick?"  "Yeah, so?"  "Your guest
might like one too, you reckon?"  Now it was clear.  "Oh, I see!"  He smiled. 
He couldn't wait to tell his friends.  "What does it taste like?"  "Dunno,"
said the farmer, "never caught one."

[=] © 1994 Peter Langston []