What do it all mean?
Date: Tue, 25 Oct 94 13:46:52 PDT
Subject: What do it all mean?
[Excerpts from] WhiteBoard News for October 24, 1994
"I don't know. I don't know what it means. It means
one thing in prison, but I'm not sure what it means out
here. All I know is that when I suggested it, a couple
of very important people shot very expensive mineral
water through their noses."
Tim Allen, star of television's Home Improvement, when
asked to explain the title of his book, "Don't Stand
Too Close to a Naked Man".
A Carlsburg beer television commercial starring
Brigette Nielsen has been banned in Britain.
It shows her boringly serving beer to a herd of
sheepish sheep until she's titillated by the arrival of
a sheep dog and takes to impressing him by removing the
beer-bottle cap with her breasts.
New York conservation officers were poised to raid
Chinatown stores and seize folk remedies, derived from
tigers, rhinoceroses and other endangered species. Then
a forensics lab advised the state to hold off. The
package said "rhino." The test results said "Jell-O."
© 1994 Peter Langston