Unlike outdoor golf...
Date: Sun, 13 Nov 94 18:23:51 PST
Subject: Unlike outdoor golf...
[Another example of elevating the art of the double entendre to approximate the
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Nariman Batlivala (email@example.com)
Forwarded-by: Cyrus Karkaria <Cyrus_Karkaria@arris.com>
Forwarded-by: firstname.lastname@example.org (Jamshed Dubash)
From: Zahir Balaporia <email@example.com>
RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF
1) Each player shall Furnish his own equipment - normally one
club and two balls.
2) Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3) Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4) For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before
5) Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the
club to avoid damage to the hole.
6) The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary
until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.
Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
7) It is considered bad form to play the hole immediately after
getting onto the course. The experienced player will normally take time
to admire the course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8) Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being
played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's
equipment for this reason.
9) Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
10) Players should assure themselves that their match has been
previously scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played
for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate
if the discover someone else playing what they consider to be a
11) Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at
all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the
course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will
find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12) Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission
before playing the back side.
13) Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared
to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course
14) It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to
play the same hole several times in one match.
15) The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
PLAYERS ARE ADVISED TO THINK TWICE BEFORE CONSIDERING
MEMBERSHIP AT A GIVEN COURSE. ADDITIONAL ASSESSMENTS
MAY BE LEVIED BY THE COURSE OWNER AND THE RULES ARE
SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE. FOR THIS REASON,
MANY PLAYERS PREFER TO CONTINUE TO PLAY SEVERAL DIFFERENT
© 1994 Peter Langston