Fun_People Archive
13 Nov
Unlike outdoor golf...

Date: Sun, 13 Nov 94 18:23:51 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: Unlike outdoor golf...

[Another example of elevating the art of the double entendre to approximate the
single... -psl]

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: harry@starbase.sj.unisys.com
Forwarded-by: Nariman Batlivala (nari@sj.unisys.com)
Forwarded-by: Cyrus Karkaria <Cyrus_Karkaria@arris.com>
Forwarded-by: dubash@subpac.enet.dec.com (Jamshed Dubash)
From: Zahir Balaporia <zahir@earth.execpc.com>


		    RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF

1)   Each player shall Furnish his own equipment - normally one
     club and two balls.

2)   Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3)   Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
     hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

4)   For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
     Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before
     play begins.

5)   Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the
     club to avoid damage to the hole.

6)   The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary
     until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.
     Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
     course again.

7)   It is considered bad form to play the hole immediately after
     getting onto the course. The experienced player will normally take time
     to admire the course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8)   Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
     played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being
     played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's
     equipment for this reason.

9)   Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.

10)  Players should assure themselves that their match has been
     previously scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played 
     for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate
     if the discover someone else playing what they consider to be a
     private course.

11)  Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at
     all times.  Some players may be embarrassed if they find the
     course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be
     extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will
     find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12)  Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission
     before playing the back side.

13)  Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared
     to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course
     owner's request.

14)  It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to
     play the same hole several times in one match.

15)  The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

      PLAYERS ARE ADVISED TO THINK TWICE BEFORE CONSIDERING
      MEMBERSHIP AT A GIVEN COURSE. ADDITIONAL ASSESSMENTS
      MAY BE LEVIED BY THE COURSE OWNER AND THE RULES ARE
      SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE. FOR THIS REASON,
      MANY PLAYERS PREFER TO CONTINUE TO PLAY SEVERAL DIFFERENT
      COURSES.

© 1994 Peter Langston