Fun_People Archive
23 Nov
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

Date: Wed, 23 Nov 94 15:00:20 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind.  Or not to have a mind
at all.  How true that is.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle winning friends while
                   speaking to the United Negro College Fund

Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense 
cannot beat a better offense.'  In other words a good offense wins.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle comparing the 
                   offensive capabilities of the Warsaw Pact
                   with the defensive system of NATO

Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better
prospect to denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place
to have a reduction of offensive systems and an introduction to
defensive capability.  I believe that is the route this country
will eventually go.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the same distance
from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where
there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means
there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific.  It is IN
the Pacific.  It is a part of the United States that is an island that 
is right here.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle,
                   Hawaii, September 1989

You all look like happy campers to me.  Happy campers you are, happy
campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers
you will always be.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the American Samoans,
                   whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean
in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't
live in this century." 
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 
                   (The New Yorker, October 10, 1988, p.102)

We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination
of human rights.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many
voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I
have heard a single voice.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president,
and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the Phoenix Republican
                   Forum, March 1990

It's rural America.  It's where I came from.  We always refer to
ourselves as real America.  Rural America, real America, real, real,
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Target prices?  How that works?  I know quite a bit about farm policy.
I come from Indiana, which is a farm state.  Deficiency payments -
which are the key - that is what gets money into the farmer's hands.
We got loan, uh, rates, we got target, uh, prices, uh, I have worked
very closely with my senior colleague, (Indiana Sen.) Richard Lugar,
making sure that the farmers of Indiana are taken care of.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle on being asked to
                   define the term "target prices."
                   Quayle's press secretary then cut short the press 
                   conference, after two minutes and 30 seconds.

I'm not going to focus on what I have done in the past
what I stand for, what I articulate to the American people.
The American people will judge me on what I am saying and what I 
have done in the last 12 years in the Congress.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have
prevailed without them in 'Red Storm Rising'.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

The US has a vital interest in that area of the country.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle Referring to Latin America.

Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of 
the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP,
two countries. That's a statement in and of itself.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Who would have predicted... that Dubcek, who brought the tanks
in in Czechoslovakia in 1968 is now being proclaimed a hero in
Czechoslovakia.  Unbelievable. 
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle
                   Actually, Dubcek was the leader of the Prague Spring.

May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
                -- The Quayle's 1989 Christmas card. 
                   [Not a beacon of literacy, though.]

Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to 
                   the collapsed section of the 880 freeway after
                   the San Francisco earthquake of 1989.
                   [this may be a joke; the source is unclear.
                      but it's still funny]

getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to his
                   legislative work dealing with cruise missiles

I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that 
have had a difficult time.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing workers at 
                   an Ohio steel plant,1988

[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy,
Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle during the Bentsen debate

Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and
I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of
situations and I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a
news conference about it. I'm going to put it in a safe and keep it
there! Does that answer your question?
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle when asked what he 
                   would do if he assumed the Presidency (1988)

Lookit, I've done it their way this far and now it's my turn. I'm
my own handler. Any questions? Ask me ... There's not going to be any
more handler stories because I'm the handler ... I'm Doctor Spin.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to press reports
                   his aides having to, in effect, "potty train" him.

I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in this
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, 
what a challange it is, because in 1988 the question is 
whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're 
going to go past to the -- to the back!
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I have made good judgements in the Past. 
I have made good judgements in the Future. 
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

The future will be better tomorrow.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I have a very strong record on the Environment in the United States
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I was known as the chief grave robber of my state.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity,
family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

We'll let the sunshine in and shine on us, because today we're
happy and tomorrow we'll be even happier.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

This election is about who's going to be the next President of the
United States!
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

	Don't forget about the importance of the family.  It begins
with the family. We're not going to redefine the family.  Everybody
knows the definition of the family.  [Meaningful pause]  A child.
[Meaningful pause]  A mother.  [Meaningful pause]  A father.  There
are other arrangements of the family, but that is a family and family
        I've been very blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful
family, and I am proud of my family.  Anybody turns to their family. I
have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good
family.  I believe very strongly in the family.  It's one of the things
we have in our platform, is to talk about it.
        I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind
that we want to say thank you. The first would be our family.  Your
family, my family -- which is composed of an immediate family of a
wife and three children, a larger family with grandparents and aunts
and uncles.  We all have our family, whichever that may be ... The
very beginnings of civilization, the very beginnings of this country,
goes back to the family.  And time and time again, I'm often reminded,
especially in this Presidential campaign, of the importance of a
family, and what a family means to this country.  And so when you pay
thanks I suppose the first thing that would come to mind would be to
thank the Lord for the family.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

..Buzz Lukens took that fateful step...
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle confusing the sexual
                   assaulter/congressman with Astronaut Buzz Aldrin.

Okay, I won't open it until then
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle after having been 
                   presented with an empty box that was to contain 
                   a gift from a sailing team in South America. 
                   He was told that the gift was not ready yet, 
                   but that it would be presented to him when they 
                   arrived in the United States. 

During the White House Easter Egg Roll of 1991, Quayle signed
autographs using only his finger.  He had prepared pre-signed cards
which his aides handed out while he made signing gestures.  This
allowed him to move briskly and efficiently through the crowd, said
his spokesman.

Dan Quayle, in April 1991, was concerned that his advisors
may be getting out of touch with "Real Americans." In order
to combat this, he suggested that they read People magazine.

People that are really very wierd can get into sensative positions
and have a tremendous impact on history.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I'm going to be a vice president very much like George Bush was. 
He proved to be a very effective vice president, perhaps the most
effective we've had in a couple of hundred years.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle standing in front 
                   of the collapsed section of highway caused by the 
                   Loma Preta quake. (CNN)

The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 
                   after the San Francisco earthquake

I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, stepping out of
                   the helicopter upon arrival at Alameda Naval Air
Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store,
Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the
different types of little things that you could get for Christmas.  And
all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things
that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.'  And the only thing that I could
think is that I believe in George Bush.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle at a garden center and 
                   produce store in Baltimore (from the Los Angeles Times, 
                   Douglas Jehl, November 6, 1988)

It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing,  
so have a great day and keep a stiff upper lip.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle
                   remarks to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince 
                   William Sound, May, 1989

The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him
when I arrive.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle
                   remarks to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince 
                   William Sound, May, 1989

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.  It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO.  We
have a firm commitment to Europe.  We are a *part* of Europe.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I would not have married Dan Quayle had I not thought he was an equal
to me.
                -- Marilyn Quayle

I could take this home, Marilyn.  This is something teenage boys might
find of interest.
                --Vice President Dan Quayle, when purchasing a South 
                  African Indian Doll that, when lifted, displays an

When you make as many speeches and you talk as much as I do and you
get away from the text, it's always a possibility to get a few words
tangled here and there
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle defending himself
                   (LA Herald Examiner 10/3/88)

Public Speaking is very easy.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88

I am not part of the problem.  I am a Republican.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 

I happen to be a Republican president- ah, the vice president.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle (Newsweek 4/9/90)

I've never professed to be anything but an average student.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle during the 
                   VP debate in Omaha, Nebraska (10/88)

The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough
times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith
that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility.  (He
paused, then said)  Would you like a puppy?
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle (LA Times 5/21/89)

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get- The Future!
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle in eastern Illinois 
                   (LA Times 10/19/88)

I've been told to keep my remarks relatively brief. I understand
Quayle-hunting season begins at noon.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to a crowd in Eau Claire, Wisc.
                  (LA Times  10/16/88)

The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle attempting to say the 
                   SF earthquake wreckage was heart-rending     
                   (Newsweek 10/30/89)

I spend a great deal of time with the President. We have a very 
close, personal,loyal relationship. I'm not, as they say, a potted 
plant in these meetings.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle defending himself 
                   (Tampa Tribune-Times  1/7/90)

When I talked to him on the phone yetserday.  I called him George
rather than Mr. Vice President.  But, in public, it's Mr. Vice
President, because that is who he is.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle shortly after being named 
                   Geo. Bush's running mate (8/28/88 the NY Times).

I'm glad you asked me that. This gives me the perfect
opportunity to talk about the problems with this Congress...
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to reporter's
                   questions about his use of Air force 2 to
                   go on golf trips at the cost of $26,000/hour

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will,
never, never surrender to what is right
                -- Vice President  Dan Quayle, in a speech 
                   to the Christian Coalition

Maybe you guys will get lucky this year and face the Orioles in the 
World Series
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle encouraging the Milwaukee
                   Brewers after throwing out the opening pitch of the
                   season.  (5/3/92 Sunday Detroit News)
Are they taking DDT?
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle asking doctors at a
		   Manhattan AIDS clinic about their treatments of
		   choice.  (NY Post, early May 92)

We are leaders of the world of the space program.  We have been the
leaders of the world of our... of the space program and we're not
going to continue where we're going to go, not withstanding the Soviet
Union's demise and collapse - the former Soviet Union - we now have
independent republics which used to be called the Soviet Union.  Space
is the next frontier to be explored.  And we're going to explore.
Think of all the things we rely upon in space today: communications
from... Japan, detection of potential ballistic missle attacks.
Ballistic missles are still here.  Other nations do have ballistic
missles.  How do you think we were able to detect some of the Scud
missles and things like that?  Space, reconnaissance, weather,
communications - you name it.  We use space a lot today.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

America is great, because America is free.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they
aren't. I don't know if its the way you say it, or how you look.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I just don't believe in the basic concept that someone should make
their whole career in public service.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

If you listen to the news, read the news, you'd think we were still
in a recession. Well, we're not in a recession. We've had growth;
people need to know that.  They need to be more upbeat, more
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle in October 91

Need any help? 
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle in October 91 addressing 
                   announced 74,000 layoffs

The message of David Duke, is this, basically: Big government,
anti-big government, get out of my pocketbook, cut my taxes, put
welfare people back to work.  That's a very popular message.  The
problem is the messenger.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 

I do have a political agenda.  It's to have as few regulations as
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 

Sam, had a great time this weekend but the golf was lousey.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle in a handwritten note 
                   written to Sam Snead in the summer of 1991,
                   after they had played a round of golf.
                   (Herald-Times, Bloomington, IN, July 15, 1992)

Who's responsible for the riots?  The rioters!
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle giving an intelligent,
		   in-depth analysis of the LA riots. (Herb Caen, SF

It's immoral to parent irresponsibly...  And it doesn't help matters
any when prime time tv, like "Murphy Brown", a character who is
supposed to represent a successful career woman of today, mocks the
importance of the father by bearing a child alone, and calling it just
another "lifestyle choice."  Marriage is probably the best
anti-poverty program there is...  Even though our cultural leaders in
Hollywood, network TV, the national newspapers routinely jeer at [such
values] I think most of  us in this room know that some things are
good, and other things are wrong.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing the 
                   Commonwealth Club of San Francisco and criticizing
                   Murphy Brown's decision to NOT have an abortion
                   and to be a single (highly successful) mother.
                   When told about Quayle's comments, a senior 
                   Bush campaign official replied only "Oh, dear." 
                   Bush's top aid said,  "The world is a lot more complex 
                   than Dan would like to believe"

I think especially in her position, a highly successful professional
woman, it would be a real exception to have an unwed child. 
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle to The Chron's Jerry

I don't watch it, but I know enough to comment on it.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle defending his opinions
		   about the TV show "Murphy Brown" [Las Vegas RJ 21
		   May 92]

The intergenerational poverty that troubles us so much today is 
predominantly a poverty of values.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

Speaking as a man, it's not a woman's issue.  Us men are tired of
losing our women
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle talking about
                   breast cancer

I want to show you an optimistic sign that things are beginning to
turn around.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle trying to convince
		   reporters that the economy was doing better because
		   a Burger King had a "now hiring" sign in the window.
                   He was campaigning for reelection in Ontario, CA
                   in January 1992.

You have a part-time job and that's better to no job at all
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle after the manager of the
                   Burger King had said that the jobs offered were
		   part-time minimum wage jobs, which didn't pay
		   enough to live on, and that "It's hard to find
		   people who want to actually show up for the job."
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a cure for AIDS in the marketplace
before Magic Johnson gets AIDS?
                --  Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/13/91 (CNN)

We're in Florida.
                --  Vice President Dan Quayle explaining why he had
		    just purchased four peaches (and no citrus fruits
		    -- for which Florida is famous) at a Publix
		    supermarket in Oakland Park, Florida. Georgia
		    (which IS famous for peaches) did not gain from
		    the transaction, however; the peaches were from
		    Chile. (The Sunstenial)
[Huh? -- dp]
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle

I feel that this [1981] is my first year, that next year is an
election year, that the third year is the mid point and that the
fourth year is the last chance I'll have to make a record since the
last two years, I'll be a candidate again.  Everything I do in those
last two years will be posturing for the election.  But right now I
don't have to do that.
                -- Senator Dan Quayle 

I don't have to experience tragedy to understand it.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle during a photo-op
                   in LA, responding to criticisms that he didn't 
                   understand what it meant to live in the "inner 
                   city." (WRAL 6/23/92)

My position is that I understand from a medical situation, immediately
after a rape is reported, that a woman normally, in fact, can go to
the hospital and have a D and C.  At that time...  that is before the
forming  of a life.  That is not anything to do with abortion
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle  explaining that
		   Dilatation and Curettage, a form of abortion which
		   occurs after fertilization, is not really abortion.
                   (the Washington post, 11/03/88)

Add one little bit on the end...  Think of 'potato,' how's it spelled?  
You're right phonetically, but what else...?  There ya go...alright!
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle correcting a student's
                   correct spelling of the word "potatoe"  during
                   a spelling bee at an elementary school in Trenton.

I should have caught the mistake on that spelling bee card.  But 
as Mark Twain once said, "You should never trust a man who has only 
one way to spell a word."
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, actually quoting from 
                   President Andrew Jackson.

People who Bowl Vote.  Bowlers are not the cultural elite.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle while at a Las Vegas bowling 
                   alley. the Vice-President bowled 5 times, and knocked 
                   down 19 pins.  (6/25/92, San Jose Mercury News)
                   The American Bowling Congress projected his score for a 
                   full game to be 76.  The Detroit average for amateur 
                   players is 163 (USA Today, 7/6/92)

It would be a serious mistake to replace a seasoned statesman with a 
tempermental tycoon who has no respect for the constitution.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle giving his opinion about
                   Ross Perot's presidential campaign (June 1992)

Dan Quayle had a trip planned to Beijing, but was worried because of
the turmoil at that end. His security adviser however informed him that
it was pretty safe for D.Q. as, "They are only harassing intellectuals."

And the President put his hand on my shoulder and said: "Dan, 
I _knew_ Spiro Agnew.  He was a friend of mine.  And Dan...  
You're no Spiro Agnew!"
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle 

This president is going to lead us out of this recovery.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle at a campaign stop in 
                   California and and then at CA State University, Fresno
                   (The Quayle Quarterly, Spring/Summer 1992)

We have to do more than just elect a new president if we truly want to   
change this country."                                     
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle         

We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, September 1990  

For NASA, space is still a high priority.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle, September 1990  

[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was a] stirring victory for the 
forces of aggression.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle,  April 1991

I hope I never have to deal with it. But obviously I would counsel her 
and talk to her and support her on whatever decision she made.
                -- Vice President Dan Quayle respondiing to Larry
                   King's question of how he would react if his
		   13-year-old daughter chose to have an abortion.
		   (CNN, July 22, 1992)  Marilyn Quayle later remarked
		   that her daughter would "take the child to term."

[=] © 1994 Peter Langston []