November Election Results may be due to Computer Glitch
Date: Tue, 29 Nov 94 17:28:06 PST
Subject: November Election Results may be due to Computer Glitch
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: email@example.com (Guy Harris)
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mark Hittinger)
November Election results may be due to Intel Pentium bug
An anonymous source in the Democratic Party has revealed that the sweeping
landslide victory of the Republicans in November may have been due to an
obscure bug in the Intel Pentium computer chip.
Upgrading the nationwide vote counting system to the latest technology was
one of Vice-President Al Gore's "Reinventing Government" initiatives. This
change was meant to reduce costs and streamline operations, however, the
computer glitch may have cost the Whitehouse dearly.
A spokesman for the Democratic Party denied the rumor that several thousand
Power-PC's had been purchased as part of a vote recount effort.
When questioned about the news Senator Bob Dole (r) commented that he believed
the Intel Pentium chip was far better than anyone had thought. A short
statement released by Newt Gingrich's office indicated that "the Democratic
party has always sought to divide America and that this discovery of an
FDIV bug in the Intel Chip was clear evidence of the moral decay of our
At a Motorola Plant in Austin, Texas Ross Perot told an angry crowd that
according to his new calculations the deficit is actually 14 times larger than
the government has been telling us. He praised his staff for staying
up all night and performing the calculations by hand.
In late breaking news today legal briefs were filed in Chicago by former
senator Dan Rostenkowski's attorneys which claimed that the irregularities at
the House Bank and the House Post Office were actually due to Pentium chip
calculation errors. Sources in Attorney General Janet Reno's office reveal
a furious behind the scenes effort to reload the whitewater investigation
spreadsheets in order to double check the results.
© 1994 Peter Langston