Support the Gingrich-Elders Plan
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 95 13:17:13 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: Support the Gingrich-Elders Plan
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: email@example.com (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Richard Stallman)
[Please repost widely]
Today I phoned Speaker Gingrich's office to express my support for the
Gingrich-Elders plan. This is the proposal for public schools to set
aside a few minutes each day for silent masturbation.
Most teenagers figure out on their own how to masturbate, but many are
anxious about doing it. Daily masturbation will keep students so
satisfied and exhausted that they won't even think about having sex
with each other.
This proposal is, for Gingrich, a daring experiment in compassion:
government addressing a problem by helping people rather than
punishing them. He really needs encouragement for it. I hope you too
will call to give him your support. You can phone Gingrich's office
at 202-225-4501. When you say you are calling to express your
opinion, they'll connect you to a recording machine; then all you have
to say is, "I'm from ... and I support the Gingrich-Elders plan." At
some times their lines are busy; if that happens, try again at a
The press hasn't taken notice of the Gingrich-Elders plan, perhaps
because it is so different from the rest of the Republican program.
With enough of our calls of support, the media will start to pay
attention. Don't keep silent -- stand up and be counted!
When you call, please send a message to email@example.com, so I
can find out how many calls there have been.
© 1995 Peter Langston