What To Do When . . .
Date: Sat, 20 May 95 17:18:28 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: What To Do When . . .
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
A friend's father just sent him a newspaper clipping from the U.S.
Department of Fish and Game that lists their tips for dealing with
mountain lions. Greg and I noticed that if you substitute the word
"marketing manager" for "mountain lion" that most still are very
actionable. So don't be surprised if you see us adopting some of
these tactics in future meetings!
What To Do When Confronted By A Marketing Manager:
1. Don't run from a marketing manager or turn your back. Marketing
managers usually attack from the back. Instead, face towards the
2. Do not crouch or bend over. Instead, wave your arms above your head.
This helps make you look bigger.
3. Shout or make some other kind of noise.
4. Throw rocks.
5. Try to make eye contact with the marketing manager.
6. If attacked, fight back.
7. Don't hike or jog alone in marketing areas. Go in pairs.
8. Avoid hiking or jogging at dawn or dusk when marketing managers
are looking for clients.
9. Small children are especially vulnerable. Pick them up to protect
[Okay, I admit it, I cheated. I changed the word "food" to "clients" -psl]
© 1995 Peter Langston