Date: Sun, 18 Jun 95 13:14:50 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
[This is a test. For each of the following 12 mini-paragraphs, give yourself 8
points if you think the comparison points up one of the advantages of prison
life. At the end, give yourself a 4 point bonus if you got more angry at the
prison system than you got at the person who made up this comparison... -psl]
Their life in prison vs. My full time job
In prison, they spend the majority of their time in a 8' x 10'cell. At work,
I spend most of my time in a 6' x 8' pod.
In prison, they get three meals a day. At work, I only get a break for one
meal and I have to pay for that one.
In prison, they get time off for good behavior. At work, I get rewarded for
good behavior with more work.
At work, I must wear an ID badge at all times. In prison, they are provided
clothing with the ID conveniently sewn on.
At work, there is a dress standard but I must buy my own clothes. In prison
there is a dress standard, but the clothes are supplied.
At work, I must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the
doors myself. In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for them.
In prison, they can watch TV and play games. At work, I can get fired for
watching TV and playing games.
In prison, their way is paid through school to learn a new career and they
get time to do it. My work will pay for my education but I must do it
on my own time.
In prison, they can fall asleep on the job with no serious consequences.
At work, if I fall asleep on the job I get put on the next RIF list.
In prison, they have full medical coverage with no deductibles. At work,
I get partial coverage and pay all the deductibles.
In prison, all their expenses are paid by the taxpayer. At work, I get
to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then deduct the taxes from my
salary to pay for the prisoners.
In prison, when the judge gives them life, they get guaranteed security
for life. At work, I get laid off when I'm old.
[Oh yes, your total point score is your GGIGGQ (Gross Grass-Is-Greener
Gullibility Quotient) and can be used to calculate your NNNNNN (Net Negative
Nattering Nabob Naivete Number) but that's a subject for another day. -psl]
© 1995 Peter Langston