Fun_People Archive
20 Jun
Misc Silliness #5.8

Date: Tue, 20 Jun 95 12:49:39 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Misc Silliness #5.8

Forwarded-by: <>

In Massachusetts the State Tree is the orange road construction barrel. 
Remember, this is the state that only has two seasons: Winter and Road Construction.


Someone quipped upon entering Albuquerque, "It'll be a nice town when
they get finished with it"


One particualrly hot day, the Lone Ranger and Tonto pull into a bar to cool
off, parking their horses outside.

While the famous duo are sitting at the bar, a cowboy comes in and says
"Hey, whose silver horse is that outside?"

The lone ranger replies "That's my horse.  Why?"

"Well, It's lookin' mighty warm.  In fact, It looks like it'll keel over
any minute".

Quickly, Tonto says, "Keemosabe, do not fear.  I will cool Silver myself.
I will run in circles around him as fast as the wind, and the breeze will
cool him."

The Lone Ranger thinks for a minute, "OK, Tonto.  If you think it'll work..."

So out goes the feerless sidekick to cool the horse.

A little while later, another cowboy comes into the bar and says, "Hey,
whose silver horse is that outside?"

The lone ranger replies "That's my horse.  Why?"

"Well you left your injun runnin'..."


Seen on the back of a Denver garbage truck:

       Satisfaction Guaranteed
      Or double your trash back.


Garbage trucks for Southern Waste (I _think_ that's the company)
in Ft Lauderdale, Florida have :

"We cater weddings"

"WARNING--This truck has bad breath"  and

"Free snow removal"

They got into a little trouble ten or so years back when there actually was
snow in the northern end of their area--people called to have their snow
removed.  They said it had to be bagged and placed at the side of the road.
When people called them up the next day to complain that they never picked
up the snow, they said they'd be right over if it was still a problem.  It,
of course, wasn't as it'd warmed back up and everything'd melted.


( From Paul Zucker, Newsbytes News Service:)

     SYDNEY, Australia (NB) -- A friend of Newsbytes swears that the
following is a true story:

   After buying a PC from a dealer of shady shady repute, the Luckless
Customer unpacked his new toy and plugged it in to find it Dead On Arrival.
Naturally, after checking the usual things, he called the dealer and
explained his problem.  First question from the Deviously Evasive Dealer:

   DED: "Did you check to see whether the power was on?"
   LC:  "Of course."
   DED:  "Did you open the cover and check whether any of the boards had
	shaken loose in shipping?"
   LC:  "Of course."
   DED: Then why are you calling me?"
   LC:  "Well, you sold it to me and there has to be some kind of warranty,"
	pleaded the frustrated purchaser.
   DED: "Of course there is," replied the DED, "But you voided the warranty
	when you opened the cover."

   Like we said, he swears it's a true story.

[=] © 1995 Peter Langston []