Fun_People Archive
29 Jun
Weirdness 383

Date: Thu, 29 Jun 95 00:35:36 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Weirdness 383

Excerpted-from: WEIRDNUZ.383 (News of the Weird, June 9, 1995)
By: Chuck Shepherd

* John Christo, a friend of accused abortion-clinic murderer John Salvi,
admonishing the media in January for portraying his friend as a serial
killer:  "There's nothing wrong with John whatsoever other than he killed
a couple of people." [Biloxi Sun-Herald-AP, 1-2-95]

* From a recent scientific paper noting that not everyone regards the
body-gas inhibitor Beano favorably:  For some people, "the production of
high volumes of resonant, pungent intestinal gas is a source of personal
pride and fulfillment." [Orlando Sentinel, Jan95]

* Defense lawyer Paul Fernandez, explaining in a Paterson, N.J., court in
March why his client, a 14-year-old boy, might have sexually assaulted an
11-year-old girl:  They were "two kids who had nothing better to do.  They
don't have cable TV, what do you do?" [Newark Star-Ledger, 3-9-95]

* Kingston, Ontario, city  councilman Dave Meers, at an April council
meeting in which he argued the uselessness of inviting candidates for the
provincial legislature to appear before the council to give their platforms:
"We all know that all politicians are liars, including ourselves." [Sault
Star-CP, 5-4-95]

* Texas Sen. David Sibley, describing tough negotiations in February on
pending state tort reform legislation:  "It was like playing pick-up sticks
with your butt cheeks." [Austin American- Statesman, 2-11-95]

* University of Arkansas football coach Danny Ford on the September decision
by freshman Chad Roe to give back his football scholarship and return home:
"He signed with us just to get [an engineering] education, and that's the
wrong reason.  I wish he had told us that [sooner]."  Little Rock Free
Press- Hawgs Illustrated, Oct94]

* In September, after U. S. Air had suffered two fatal crashes in two
months, bringing to five the number of fatal crashes in five years for the
airline, Steven Fink, a Los Angeles public-relations specialist, told the
Wall Street Journal: "To the casual observer, there seems to be a disturbing
pattern." [Wall Street Journal, 9- 21-94]

* Marie D'Amico, 53, pleading guilty and showing tearful remorse as the
prosecutor read the charges against her in Chicago in October for defrauding
three local government agencies by accepting high wages for "ghost" jobs
for which she barely showed up:  "It makes me sick to hear what I did."
[Chicago Tribune, 10-13-94]

* A Republican Party of Virginia open house in May to attract black voters,
set up for a 6,000-seat convention hall in Richmond, attracted a crowd of
nine.  [Newport News Daily Press, 5-6-95]

Copyright 1995, Universal Press Syndicate.  All rights reserved. 
Released for the entertainment of readers.  No commercial use
may be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.

[=] © 1995 Peter Langston []