The Great God Contest!
Date: Mon, 10 Jul 95 17:54:31 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: The Great God Contest!
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: firstname.lastname@example.org (Guy Harris)
The Mother Of All Contests!
Right here on the Internet, we will attempt to bring a final
resolution to all religious wars, controversy and hypocrisy.
The rules are simple. Any religious organization in the world
is invited to enter their god. The various gods will be given
three challenges to fulfill. These challenges have been chosen
because they represent typical accomplishments of most of the
present day gods, as well as historical ones. In light of the
various literary records, these challenges should be very easy
for any god to accomplish.
Only one entry per religion is allowed.
The winner will be the god who completes all three challenges in
the least amount of time.
Onlookers may cheer for their god by offering prayers, songs,
epithets or verbal abuse.
If your god fails to show, then followers are free to cheer for
a more conscientious alternative.
Notice: Representatives of local S.P.C.A.'s, Humane Societies,
and P.E.T.A. will be on hand to ensure that no animals are
killed or mutilated, even if it is for some primitive sacrifice
or common food ritual. God's creatures are in no way to be
adversely affected by this religious challenge.
Challenge 1. Virgin Impregnated
Challenge 2. Corpse Raised
Challenge 3. Choice of ...
a) Sick Healed ... or
b) Multitude Fed
© 1995 Peter Langston