Bits of Bull No. 331
Date: Wed, 19 Jul 95 19:35:10 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: Bits of Bull No. 331
Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 331!
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SLUGS. What a name for a newspaper novel! But we digress.
Charles Memminger (email@example.com) of the Honolulu
Star-Bulletin entertained readers recently by revealing the sensation
that runs down an editor's spine on seeing certain slugs on wire copy:
-- Sky dive. "These stories actually should be slugged 'sky
death,' because they never, ever include the phrase 'safe landing.'"
-- Japan subway. "But they don't have muggers."
-- Tot. "Tot is an editor's code word for severely injured child."
-- Mother/lake. "These two words together always spell trouble.
See 'tot' entry."
-- Air show. "There must be air shows where no one crashes. Then
again, maybe not."
-- Guyana space program. "You know this story is going to involve
several dead monkeys."
-- Toothpaste recall. "Four out of five dentists agree that this
slug is guaranteed to produce an involuntary gag reflex in most
-- Pit bull. "I dream of the day when I'll see a story headlined,
'Pit bull saves tot from pet shop fire.' So far, no such luck. In the
meantime, I just hope to never, ever see a story slugged 'Pit
bull/genitals.' Just writing that gave me the willies."
© 1995 Peter Langston