Date: Sat, 26 Aug 95 11:14:22 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: WhiteBoardness 8/25/95
Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for August 25, 1995
This item submitted by Edwin Hoogerbeets:
Billed as the world's first, and only, canine hypnotist, he escaped from
his owner before Monday's show at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh.
The labrador ran off on Monday while being exercised by his owner and
co-star Hugh Cross. Oscar was found Wednesday on a Edinburgh, Scotland,
road two miles away.
Cross had warned anyone seeing Oscar not to look him straight in the eye.
That's how he hypnotizes people.
The reward for rescuer Ronan Smyt: $7,716 from a pet food manufacturer and
a keg of beer from the pub where Oscar was appearing.
"I went to a psychiatrist recently and he said, 'Were you ever molested as
a child?' And I said, 'No -- I was dying to be molested, dying for someone
to have a fiddle around.' And he said, 'Oooh, we've never heard THAT one
-- Singer Elton John.
"A hobo suit is one suit of clothes, and then you never have to buy another
suit of clothes as long as you live. ...It's got elkskin pants and a shirt,
with a pouch like a pocketbook that you can throw over your shoulder that
you can use to keep your knife, your sharpening stone, your needles, some
thread...It'd be like your skin. You just get in the shower once in a
while, scrub it down, then run around the block two or three times and
you'll be right there...It should last you forever."
-- Convicted murderer Charles Manson, who's keeping busy
in prison by working as a fashion designer.
"The state of journalism in the U.S. at the moment can be found somewhere
between the Okefenokee Swamp and the Love Canal. It is a polluted stream
of tabloid lunacy, without honor, and produced by culturally illiterate
incompetents who need a spell-checker to get the word 'dog' correct."
-- Author Harlan Ellison, at the recent American
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© 1995 Peter Langston