Fun_People Archive
3 Oct
MMJ (More Musician Jokes)

Date: Tue, 3 Oct 95 15:16:14 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: MMJ (More Musician Jokes)

[Here are a few musician jokes that (probably) haven't appeared in Fun_People  
before.  I edited this down by removing jokes that appeared in earlier  
Fun_People articles ranging from "Banjo Jokes (long posting)" of 10/29/92 to  
"Viola Jokes" of 1/21/95.  BTW, old Fun_People articles can be found through  
the Fun_People Archive Web page:
	http://www.empire.net..
-psl]
[UPDATE: now it's http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/  -psl 9/98]


Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: cate3@netcom.com
Forwarded-by: Brad Pardee <bradp@UNLLIB.UNL.EDU>


Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't.

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Q: How do you get 5 oboes in tune?
A: Shoot 4 of them.

Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.

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Q: How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Q: How do you make him stop?
A: Put notes on it!

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Q: There's a five pound note on the floor in a room with a bad drummer, a
   thrash guitarist, and a drummer who keeps good time.  Who picks it up?

A: The bad drummer; the other drummer doesn't exist and the thrash guitarist
   doesn't care about notes anyway.

------------------------------

Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards?
A: Your heart mends, you get out of jail, you get your job or your wife back,
   and you stop having fun.  Oh, did I mention your dog comes back to life?

------------------------------

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back
and instead of bleeding, he sings.

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If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

------------------------------

A guy walks into a shop.

"How much is a Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingy and a Gibson
StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?"

"You're a drummer, aren't you?"

"Yeah.  How'd you know?"

"This is a travel agency."

© 1995 Peter Langston