Fun_People Archive
31 Oct
... that will allow them catch and compile lists of sinners.

Date: Tue, 31 Oct 95 17:50:24 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: ... that will allow them catch and compile lists of sinners.

Forwarded-by: (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Wendell Craig Baker <>
From: (Gordon Irlam)

When a user follows a link from an external page to a page on our site
some Web browsers are kind enough to tell us the name of the external
page the user was browsing that led to our site.

I thought you might be interested in an analysis of this access data
for our site over the last two weeks.

My short summary:

    Search engines and sex are very popular on the Internet.

My more detailed analysis:

    The vast majority of people accessing our pages come in from one of
    five search engines:


Inktomi is a new search engine I was previously unaware of.

The majority of queries that reach our site are for sexual material.
Our Yoga and Web technology pages also get a few hits.

Here are the top few ways people have of finding pages on our site
(number of hits via a particular external page in the last two weeks,
name of the page on our site, and the external page referencing our

 701 samantha/samantha.html
 417 rdsesq/rdsesq.html
 342 epe/index.html
 134 samantha/samantha.html
 127 rdsesq/rdsesq.html
 127 blaise/yoga.html
 125 gordoni/web/distribution.html
 110 index.html
  98 epe/index.html
  60 epe/index.html
  59 blaise/yoga.html
  53 fun.html
  37 roque/roque.html 
  35 gordoni/gordoni.html
  34 rdsesq/rdsesq.html
  31 blaise/yoga.html
  27 samantha/spanking.html
  27 samantha/samantha.html
  27 rdsesq/rdsesq.html
  27 blaise/yoga.html
  25 homestay/Yoga.html
  25 epe/index.html

Some of the more popular pages we have are:

which has received several hundred disappointed visits from people
interested in "oral sex" and "spanking".  Samantha's page contains
the Monty Python-esque line: "And now, a whopping great intermission:
How about a spanking, followed by oral sex?  -- Yeah, right.  Dream

which has received several hundred hits from people interested in
"crossdressing" and maybe a hundred from people interested in
"bestiality".  Samantha changed her page, but it used to contain
another Python-esque reference to "crossdressing lumberjacks".

More disturbing was the query we received from someone for:

    "kids oral sex"

This raised all sorts of difficult social issues about computer
technology most people would probably rather not think about: Hey!  We
know your employer and your IP address.  Send $200 dollars in clean
unmarked bills to us, or else....

In the future I guess the fundamentalists will realize, and start
setting up their own spoof pages, that will allow them catch and
compile lists of sinners.  Based on my analysis, the line:

    kinky bestial oral spanking lesbian child porno sex

repeated 50 times on a web page would score pretty highly on most Web
search queries.

People searching for

   "loquacious lesbian lounge"
   "lesbian talk rooms"
   "lesbian vampires"


which is a page devoted to the music of Jonathan Richman.  Jonathan
has songs titled "I was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar" and "Vampire

And people searching for:

    "sexy asian chicks"
    "sexy lesbian"


which turns out to be the home page for Blaise's dog!

Someone looking for information on

    "penis size"


which is my Unix file size survey.  Unix/eunuchs, what's the

And were I still shy, I might have been embarrassed,

which is a personal ad I have slowly been writing, and had eventually
planed to post to the net got "discovered" by Infoseek, and is now
being returned to people searching for

    "male emotions"
    "quality mental health"
    "star television"

it is probably not what they are looking for.  And, I'm probably not
looking for them either...

                       still in love with the Internet,

[=] © 1995 Peter Langston []