Date: Tue, 14 Nov 95 11:48:34 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: Cusstom Speling
Forwarded-by: email@example.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Chris Small <firstname.lastname@example.org>
You've heard of custom installation. You've heard of custom settings...
now, Microsoft Word presents: Cusstom Speling, where you get to tell Word
how to spell words when checking your document!
[Edtior's note: I tkae no responsiblity for the cotnents of thies
docuement. All of theis wurdz were adedd by a real users to there cusstom
dicktionaries. When chzecked with the cusstom dictoinaries of over one
thuosand useres, Word fuond no speling erorrs. Sum people may be ofennded
by the wurdz in this docuement. I only fourward what ohter people put in.
It does make yew wunder, thourgh, what people right about in they're Word
I. Bestest Mispelings, and they're defunitions
II. Poigant Plurales
III. All the words you were afraid to ask your mom about
I. Bestest Mispelings
ablity: Incapability of being lit
alphabeticle: A subatomic particle represented by the symbol Abc
Assit: If you can't bum it off someone . . .
beatiful: Music with a pumped-up bass line
beurocrat: A higher-up in the Offus For Foanetic Speling
Chzeck: A Slobbic language
cudn't: I cudn't tage it do bore...
DaVinchy's: Leonardo's Brooklyn relatives
diffent: [no explanation necessary]
eingeer: A German expression for a single burst of laughter
Einstien: Albert's lesser known mentally challenged half-brother
engeneers: Why we have Program Management write the spelling dictionary
Exhcange: What happens to your email after you upgrade...
flopticial: Possessing the characteristics of a floptical
fuschia: A rare flower possessing a puprle colored petals
greatful: The last Dead concert
Hasbrowns: Fried potatoes left out just too long
Heathcare: Major medical for your chocolate-covered toffee bars
Hooser: An Indana alumn.
HTLM: Hyper Text Language Mangler
imput: When you can't get the computer to take in data
inernet: Internet with a Western accent (dropped consonans)
intenet: Internet with a Boston accent
Janurary: Try Feburary?
Micorsoft: Presenting Micorsoft Wrod
Microsfot: Microsoft's Eastern European subsidiary
Microsft: How an angry cat refers to a Redmond-based software company
Micrsoft: Micro applied recursively
Mirosoft: Competitor whose products "reflect" all of our features and
neuvoux: Hey, the French can't spell either
Particiapted: Aptly participated
particulary: A container for a particle
permantly: The state of a misspelling in your custom dictionary
piplined: Having the inside coated with small business printing chains
pomised: When a cheerleader gives her word
prespective: Having an opinion before the fact
proported: Software moved to another platform by an expert
refesh: To fesh again (whatever feshing is)
repetoir: The pieces a young musician knows by heart
rolodeck: When you only have one person in your Rolodex
sandwhich: A sign at the beach indicating directions
Smurph: Smurphy's law: Whatever can be spelled wrong will.
squirrlely: [no explanation necessary]
sublties: Hard-to-read translations at the bottom of a foreign movie
supprise: An unexpected dinner party
suprised: What everyone did at the end of the dinner party
Telecofnerening:What you get if you don't use AT&T
Thnaks: Thanks for the snaks
thourgherly: Thourgherly flouled up
tommorow: email name of the son of Bob and Martha Morow
Updgrade: What you get from bribing a professor
uncompres: Compressed just a wee bit too much...
Winodows: The wavy screen effect you get after having a bit too much
withdrawl: Speech impediment characteristic of patients overcoming
Workgoup: Slimy, gooey material that impedes team progress
II. Poigant Plurales
Afghanistans (I thought there was only one!)
Discmen (Argue with a linguist about this one)
III.a. Slang at its finest!
III.b. No names here; what the Feds don't know can't hurt them (or can it?)
crackball (illegal drug preparation)
III.c. Not for the faint of heart.
If you're easily offended, don't read this! Common references to anatomy
(though in the .DIC's) were not included here. Why people were using
Microsoft Word for this I'll never know...
© 1995 Peter Langston