Fun_People Archive
21 Dec
To get more out of your computer, ... improve *your* performance.

Date: Thu, 21 Dec 95 14:11:58 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: To get more out of your computer, ... improve *your* performance.

Forwarded-by: (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Eric Hendrickson <>
Forwarded-By: Ron Roskens <>

                     ANNOUNCING: BRAIN DOUBLER 1.0
               (From the developers of ConflictDoubler)

You've doubled your RAM, you've doubled your speed, you've even doubled
your CPU.  You're still hungry for more.  What to do next?

                          DOUBLE YOUR BRAIN!

Since the introduction of the Altair in the mid-1970s, the power of the
average personal computer has grown at an exponential rate.  Today's
notebook computer possesses orders of magnitude more processing power than
the Apollo astronauts took with them to the moon.  You and I wouldn't think
of booting up with less than a PowerPC or Pentium; Neil Armstrong cruised
a half-million miles and made One Giant Leap(tm) with TTL circuitry!

Despite the explosion in processing power and the accompanying plunge in
costs for RAM and hard disk storage, many computer users are still
disappointed with the performance of their personal computer systems

"In 1985, when I bought my Mac 512K and an ImageWriter II," says Roy
Cardiff, an early Mac adopter, "it took me about a day to write and edit a
10 page memo.  Now that I have a Mac 8500 32/1080MB and a color laser
printer, it takes me... about a day to type and edit a 10 page memo."

Indeed, our detailed analyses show that over the course of a 24 hour period,
99.94% of all processor cycles are spent waiting for you, the computer user,
to do something.  In other words, the bottleneck today is not in your
computer--it is in your head.

The lesson is plain.  If you want to get more out of your computer, you're
going to have to improve *your* performance.  To help you along, we've
developed BrainDoubler.

In our beta testing, we have found that BrainDoubler significantly increases
the rate at which experienced users are able to get work done with their

Good Ideas per hour:

    w/o BrainDoubler  ******************
     w/ BrainDoubler  **********************************

Bad Ideas per hour:

     w/o BrainDoubler  ********
      w/ BrainDoubler  ***************

Coherent Sentences per hour:

    w/o BrainDoubler  **********
     w/ BrainDoubler  *****************

(Your results may vary.  We've noticed that people with a general propensity
for bad ideas produce a majority of bad ideas with BrainDoubler.  We're
working on a fix.  In the meantime, we do not recommend BrainDoubler for
idiots, MBAs, or government employees.)

Look for BrainDoubler at your local retailer/mail order house.   Available

[=] © 1995 Peter Langston []