Comics' JsOTD - 3/28/96
Date: Thu, 28 Mar 96 17:48:38 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Subject: Comics' JsOTD - 3/28/96
Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <email@example.com>
Family values took a beating at the Academy Awards, says Argus Hamilton.
"Voters had to choose between a drunk, three hookers, and a guy on death row.
For the first time, Nixon lost an election because he wasn't mean enough."
"After 'Braveheart' won best picture, the pig from 'Babe' demanded a recount.
But the boys from Price Waterhouse assured him that everything was kosher."
"I'm sure glad Mel Gibson won. In some small way it might help make up for
Mel's being so ugly, poor and unpopular with women." (Alex Kaseberg)
"Sharon Stone earned a special award for Least Supporting Role Played by a
Gown." (Bill Williams)
"When Anjelica's microphone didn't work, I was waiting for Whoopi Goldberg
to say, 'Huston, we have a problem.'" (Mike Priester)
"What a great evening for Hollywood--parties all over town and no threat of
Pat Buchanan or Ross Perot starting ones of their own." (Paul Ecker)
After almost 30 years, Disneyland will revise Tomorrowland to make it more
futuristic. Asks Paul Steinberg, "Why not just leave it alone and rename
The European Union has banned all exports of British beef because of the
"mad cow disease" scare. Says Hamilton, "Feminists don't like that name.
If the cow is mad, it must be because of something the bull said or did."
© 1996 Peter Langston