Fun_People Archive
5 Apr
The Four Questions

Date: Fri, 5 Apr 96 14:36:52 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Four Questions

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <>

Author: sfriedma ( at unix/o2=mime

The DR. Seuss version of the 4 questions via uncle eli

	The Four Questions

	Why is it only
	on Passover night
	we never know how
	to do anything right?
	We don't eat our meals
	in the regular ways,
	the ways that we do
	on all other days.

	`Cause on all other nights
	we may eat
	all kinds of wonderful
	good bready treats,
	like big purple pizza
	that tastes like a pickle,
	crumbly crackers
	and pink pumpernickel,
	sassafras sandwich
	and tiger on rye,
	fifty felafels in pita,
	with peanut-butter
	and tangerine sauce
	spread onto each side
	up-and-down, then across,
	and toasted whole-wheat bread
	with liver and ducks,
	and crumpets and dumplings,
	and bagels and lox,
	and doughnuts with one hole
	and doughnuts with four,
	and cake with six layers
	and windows and doors.
	on all other nights
	we eat all kinds of bread,
	but tonight of all nights
	we munch matzah instead.

	And on all other nights
	we devour
	vegetables, green things,
	and bushes and flowers,
	lettuce that's leafy
	and candy-striped spinach,
	fresh silly celery
	(Have more when you're finished!)
	cabbage that's flown
	from the jungles of Glome
	by a polka-dot bird
	who can't find his way home,
	daisies and roses
	and inside-out grass
	and artichoke hearts
	that are simply first class!
	Sixty asparagus tips
	served in glasses
	with anchovy sauce
	and some sticky molasses--
	But on Passover night
	you would never consider
	eating an herb
	that wasn't all bitter.

	And on all other nights
	you would probably flip
	if anyone asked you
	how often you dip.
	On some days I only dip
	one Bup-Bup egg
	in a teaspoon of vinegar
	mixed with nutmeg,
	but sometimes we take
	more than ten thousand tails
	of the Yakkity-birds
	that are hunted in Wales,
	and dip them in vats
	full of Mumbegum juice.
	Then we feed them to Harold,
	our six-legged moose.
	Or we don't dip at all!
	We don't ask your advice.
	So why on this night
	do we have to dip twice?

	And on all other nights
	we can sit as we please,
	on our heads, on our elbows,
	our backs or our knees,
	or hang by our toes
	from the tail of a Glump,
	or on top of a camel
	with one or two humps,
	with our foot on the table,
	our nose on the floor,
	with one ear in the window
	and one out the door,
	doing somersaults
	over the greasy k'nishes
	or dancing a jig
	without breaking the dishes.
	on all other nights
	you sit nicely when dining--
	So why on this night
	must it all be reclining?

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