Fun_People Archive
15 Apr
Digest Re: ISDN psychic telephone services

Date: Mon, 15 Apr 96 17:33:34 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Digest Re: ISDN psychic telephone services

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <>
From: (James Lee Johnson)

On the first day of this month I asked:

   One of the tenets of the psychic telephone services is that the
   telephone is a good media for transmission of psychic energy.
   Does anyone know if ISDN affects the psychic energy transmission
   and whether the effect is positive or negative?

   If the effect is negative, should one maintain a POTS (analog)
   telephone line for use in calling psychics?  If the effect is
   positive, does anyone know of a psychic service that has ISDN
   telephones at their end so that the transmission can be pure ISDN?

   Please respond directly to me and I will summarize for everyone.

   Thank You.


In the most helpful spirit of The Net, I received several wonderful replies.
Here is a digest of the responses, as promised.


From: (Lon Stowell)

Almost all telephone service in the US is digital at the Central
Office.  The analog line to the customer is converted to a PCM
digital signal for switching within the CO and usually is carried
in digital format between CO's to the target user's CO where it
is converted back to analog.   If the Psychic Hotline goes
thru a PBX, very likely that end of the call is totally digital.

ISDN merely moves the analog-digital conversion out to the end
users premises.   About the only thing ISDN would add to the
issue is that the psychic would need to be aware of the standard
ISDN query of "2B or not 2B".

From: (Al Varney)

   Note that, for analog, the PCM conversion for perhaps 25% of lines
occurs at a DLC (such as a SLC-96(tm)).  Which can use glass fiber back to
the CO.  And the CO interconnection can use glass fiber.  Thus even an
ISDN-to-ISDN call can involve fiber.

   Most psychics are unaware of the distortions introduced by improperly
installed and maintained optical fiber.  Every time the fiber is laid or
re-installed after splicing, it must be DEGAUSSED to remove the magnetic
and static aura around the glass.  Psychic advice given over un-degaussed
fiber is subject to error.

   Ask any psychic you call if the fiber optics in the connection have been
been rendered "un-dark" by degaussing.  They may lie about this, if the
fiber distorts their minds as well as their perception.  Have the psychic
insist that their 900-service provider use only non-fiber circuits end-to-end
for their calls, or receive an assurance that the fiber has been degaussed.

   And the televised psychic shows should be viewed with suspicion if the
audience is in contact with a psychic over telephone fiber or a  
video connection.

   Psychics contacted via cable modems and 2-way audio/video over cable-TV
should be aware that some cable-TV systems use un-degaussed fiber backbones.

   (I'm available for fiber degaussing.  Have the IXC or psychic organization
contact me for information of how I can degauss their fiber merely by having
them call my automatic answering/cleaning equipment several times, at the
bargain rate of $399/call.)

Al Varney - just my optically-distorted opinion

From: "Chet Nimitz Production Supervisor" <>

Have you tried channeling Dionne Warwick?

From: Terry Hill<>

Yes JJ, it does; very much so!
Not only will the psychic receive the psychic energy faster (for obvious
reasons), but in a more "intense" fashion. Actually this will be the next
big step for the psychic community!
Now not only will they be able to tell you what you are feeling, but now
they will be able to tell what everyone in the room is feeling and whether
or not they have eaten recently! Wow! Just think of the marketing

Actually, in our lab we are experimenting with CU-CME technology.
So now by using CU-CME, Hot Java and the Web you can NOW transmit live
VISUAL psychic energy. With the use of visual psychic energy you can now
transmit 80 times the amount of energy!

Man! Have you ever seen a psychic on a T3 connection?!
      Jesus CHrist!!!
I thought that guy was going to explode! I mean, one minute this guy
accidentally wandered into our lab and the next minute he was receiving all
of the perverse sexual psychic energy STRAIT OFF THE NET!!!
Last I heard, the guy still is not quite right.

Dion Warwich will never be the same!

No ill effect have been reported other than the occasional psychic friend
who didn't know how to regulate some of the psychic pikes. Any real psychic
should already know how to control this.

Hope this was of some help,

Terry Hill

From: (lary cotten)

For best results, the NT-1 used to communicate with an NT-T must have a C/U
interface. While the S/T interface supports 4 wire connections, and the U
interface supports 2 wire connections. The C/U interface is required to
support the 0 wire connection. Results should be far superior to analog. As
everyone knows, POTS is just STOP backwards.

As far as I know, Intel Proshare does not yet support remote viewing.

From: warren harris <>

Well as a provider of 800/900 services in Dallas.  I can state that pure
psychic energy can only truly be had on a pay-per-call basis.  I know I run
a few psychic lines as a redirection service on my bureau.  You have to have
a special switch in order to channel the energy correctly. I use an old DG
roadrunner switch, which has been officially blessed by Dionne Warwick.  I
understand that MCI will be offering PSDN shortly (Psychic Services Digital
Network). This is going to be a revolution in technology!! Not only will it
correctly channel the energy needed, it will also perform an automatic
collect call if it senses you need some psychic advice.  I can hardly wait


Warren Harris

From: (Marc Abrahams)

Others toil nobly in the field. Here's an excerpt from the Feb 96
issue of mini-AIR (the mini-Annals of Improbable Research):

1996-02-06	PGP-Y

Our paranormal testing program has already had one commercial
spin-off. Our engineers have developed a truly foolproof data security
protocol. It is  called PGP-Y  -- "Pretty Good Parasychology." The
mechanism is simple. You imagine that you have transmitted data to
someone; that person then imagines that he has received it.
Using PGP-Y, any type of information can be transmitted over the
Internet with complete security. The key is that the data is
transmitted high over the net -- so high that the data actually
travels above the net rather than within it. The data is transmitted
telepathically (and for those who distrust electronic funds, we
also have a scheme for transmitting cash and gold plate telekinetically.)

Sincerely and improbably,

Marc Abrahams, editor
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

From: Nick Lombardo <72673.1477@CompuServe.COM>

James Lee:

Believe it or not, it all comes down to the arithmetic sum of the
SPID (assuming a BRI circuit).  If the digits of the SPID add up
to an EVEN number, the psychic polarity of a given B-Channel is
positive, and if they add up to an ODD number, the psychic
polarity of a given B-Channel is negative. Since very few psychic
 phone services offer packet-switched data, results have been
inconclusive on the psychic effects of D-channel transmissions.
Do YOU know the way to San Jose???

(and if a ONE of y'all takes this seriously, y'deserve it!)

From: Ben Thornton <>

All psychic transmissions are postively enhanced by the higher fideltiy
of the digital medium... this is especially true on the first day of
April of each year...


--- End of Digest-------------------------------------------------------
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