Fun_People Archive
17 Jun
The Top Five List for June 17

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 96 00:55:14 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Top Five List for June 17

From: top5@walrus.com
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          The Top 20 Cool Things About a Car that
           Goes Faster than the Speed of Light


 20> Sleep 'til noon.  Still get to work by 8:00am!

 19> Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.

 18> Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most
     states.

 17> Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
     song.

 16> Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to
     carpool.

 15> No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.

 14> Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.

 13> LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.

 12> You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black
     hole driving home from work.

 11> You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear
     horizontal stripes.

 10> That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.

  9> Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose
     a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.

  8> Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in
     Quantum Physics.

  7> Bugs never see you comin'.

  6> You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

  5> Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan
     "It's there before you order or it's free!"

  4> Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to
     not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.

  3> License plate: "Me=mc2"

  2> Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they
     land in last week!

       and the Number 1 Cool Thing About a Car that
          Goes Faster than the Speed of Light...

  1> Chicks dig it.

© 1996 Peter Langston