The Top Five List for June 19, 1996
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 19 Jun 96 13:17:44 -0700
Subject: The Top Five List for June 19, 1996
\ | The Top Five List | /
\ | http://www.topfive.com | /
\ | | /
\ | Sponsored by Windows Sources | /
> | http://www.zdnet.com/wsources/ | <
/ | | \
/ | June 19, 1996 | \
/ |_____________________________________| \
Don't forget to check The Top Five List on the World Wide Web!
Pictures! Stories! Pamela Anderson Lee! Brad Pitt! Not!
*** www.topfive.com ***
The Top 5 [oh okay, 17] Signs You've Had Too Much To
Drink at Your Company Picnic
17> You loosen your tie, despite the dirty looks from the
16> You brazenly blurt out the percentage of mouse feces
and rat hair that the FDA allows in hotdogs.
15> Your perfect Elvis impersonation goes terribly awry
when that big wave of nausea kicks in.
14> You decide to show the boss YOUR version of a "golden
13> Bernie from accounting feels the need to admonish,
"Slow down, pal. This ain't no Kennedy reunion!"
12> The people in charge of the Diversity Program don't
seem to care much for your Buckwheat impersonation.
11> You resurrect that old "Pull My Finger" routine for
the folks from the home office.
10> Your overly enthusiastic karaoke rendition of "Beat
It" lands you in jail for public lewdness.
9> You organize an "Armpit Orchestra" to play "Hail to
the Chief" when the CEO arrives.
8> You offer to teach the boss your procedure for
making "Butt Xeroxes."
7> You attempt to qualify for the 3 legged race -- solo.
6> You remember *what* to kiss, but forget *whose*.
5> Evidently a bear's not the only one who can shit in
4> You keep calling your boss "Boo-Boo" and bugging him
to help you look for "pic-a-nic" baskets.
3> Last words you utter before passing out? "Slide, you
fat bastard! Slide!"
2> Everytime CEO pauses during big speech you scream,
and the Number 1 Sign You've Had Too Much To
Drink at Your Company Picnic...
1> "But everybody pees in the pool!"
Not from the diving board, my friend.
© 1996 Peter Langston