The Comedian's Eye View of 6/21/96
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 21 Jun 96 01:51:35 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6/21/96
It just keeps rollin' along: Whitewater now boils down to one question, says
Argus Hamilton: "What did the president know- and when did Hillary tell him?"
Adds Stan Kaplan, "A year's investigation by Al D'Amato and the bottom line
is: A waste of d'money."
In the news: The FAA found serious maintenance problems with ValuJet.
Trading in ValuJet stock was halted as soon as the announcement was made.
Says Hamilton, "Wall Street takes the threat of crash rather personally."
After so many reports that take the fun out of indulging in rich food, one
critic faulted the media for "nutritional terrorism." Says Jenny Church,
"Will ornery dieters in Montana call themselves 'fat-freemen?'"
The University of Arizona plans to build a giant telescope in the habitat
of some endangered squirrels. Says Premiere Morning Sickness, "A dozen
squirrels were seen devouring a scientist, singing 'Sometimes you feel like
an astronomer, sometimes you don't.'"
The estimated grosses for Jim Carrey's new movie have slid gradually each
of the past several days. Says Michael X. Ferraro, "This is the first time
in history that 'Cable' rates have actually gone down."
A little night music: More thoughts inspired by news that a guy in Hungary
has invented a musical condom:
"The perfect gift for your Big Bopper- or Little Richard." (Cutler)
"What does Charlie Sheen's play, 'We're in the Money'?" (Cutler)
"There's even one that features a Milli Vanilli tune, for women who have to
fake it." (Alex Kaseberg)
"And I though it was enough to have a song in your heart." (Cutler)
© 1996 Peter Langston