Important Announcement - Ahem! ... Well, okay, not that important. .
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 22 Jun 96 00:15:44 -0700
Subject: Important Announcement - Ahem! ... Well, okay, not that important. .
[Okay here it is, the Fun_Bytes are about to abate a bit (but not abort).
I'm taking off for a couple of week-long musical activities so you will have
a bit of peace (or boredom, your choice) but there will probably be one or
two last little items, like this one ... -psl]
Forwarded-by: email@example.com (Nancy Lewis)
Ray's tennis elbow had been killing him, so when he was passing by the
doctor's office one day, he decided to stop in. The nurse told him he could
see the doctor in twenty minutes, but first he had to provide a urine
sample. Ray told her that was absurd for an elbow examination, but she
insisted. Finally, he agreed.
Later, he was ushered in to see the doctor, who said, "That tennis elbow is
really acting up, huh?"
"The nurse told you, then?" Ray asked. "No," the doctor replied. "It's
the urinalysis." He explained that he'd purchased a new machine that could
diagnose absolutely every physical condition with total accuracy. The
machine cost a fortune, but it cut down on his work so much that he was able
to get out on the golf course at three every afternoon.
Ray didn't believe a word. However, he did agree to provide another urine
sample when he came back in for another checkup.
Two weeks later, Ray was sitting at the breakfast table talking with his
wife about the ridiculous machine. They decided to have some fun with the
doctor. Ray pee'ed in the bottle, and so did his wife and teenage daughter.
Then, as he opened the garage door, Ray had another idea. He put a few
drops of crankcase oil from his car in the bottle, and even added a few
drops of his personal semen. He shook up the bottle, drove to the doctor
and handed the bottle to the nurse. This time the analysis took an entire
hour. When Ray sat down, the doctor looked at him and said, "All right,
wise guy. I've got some bad news for you. Your daughter's pregnant, your
wife's got V.D., your car is about to throw a rod, and if you don't stop
playing with yourself, that tennis elbow is never going to heal."
© 1996 Peter Langston