More Mangy Morphed Machinations
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 8 Jul 96 23:49:07 -0700
Subject: More Mangy Morphed Machinations
Forwarded-by: Brad Roter <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Forwarded-by: Harriet Fancott <APABC@mindlink.bc.ca>
Forwarded-by: "Jason Edmunds" <JEdmunds@msn.com>
To: "Harriet Fancott" <APABC@mindlink.bc.ca>
Subject: think of your own subject
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in
the head like this before.
ON DEEP THOUGHTS
A day without sunshine is like night.
ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you
buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back
and demand a refund?
ON HIGHER EDUCATION
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to
ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true.
I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk. -- Steven
ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
resemble a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!
If you had everything, where would you keep it?
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. --
English Professor, Ohio University
ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional
division by zero.
ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray! -- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker
To err is human, to moo bovine.
ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs.
-- Robert Firth
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. -- Joe Walsh
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large values of 2.
ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
© 1996 Peter Langston