THE LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 96 13:41:22 -0700
Subject: THE LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
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The Top Ten List
"Reasons Colin Powell Doesn't Want to be Bob Dole's Running Mate"
As presented on the 07/10/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID
10. His main responsibility would be cutting Dole's food
9. Dole keeps asking him, "How are those wooden teeth working out, General
8. Suspects that what Dole is really after is one of his kidneys
7. Has had dozens of conversations with Dole and not once did he understand
a word the guy said
6. Wants to devote himself to full-scale invasion of local "Hooters"
5. Dole cuts out of important meetings whenever "Golden Girls" reruns are on
4. Wants to avoid the inevitable headline, "The General and the Geriatric"
3. It's hard to organize your schedule when every other hour is "naptime"
2. Feels uncomfortable when Dole tries to impress him by using terms like
1. If he wanted to get his ass kicked, he'd be playing for the Detroit
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