The Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 26 Jul 96 22:24:27 -0700
Subject: The Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters
Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Forwarded-by: "Jordan K. Hubbard" <email@example.com>
The top ten worst cartoon characters:
#10 Tweety Bird
You know there's a problem when every single kid roots for the "hero" to
be devoured in each episode. No sense of humor. No personality. Annoying
voice. Plus he was always tattling. I knew kids like this growing up.
Most of them ate paste, sat in the front of the bus, and got me in
#9 Grape Ape
A real moron. All he knows how to say is his name. And he does so
non-stop for a half an hour. I'd rather watch "Davey and Goliath covet
their neighbor's model airplane."
#8 Olive Oyl
Am I the only one out there who thought this was one lady NOT worth
fighting over? And that's what they did every episode! She talks like
Edith Bunker and looks like a pipe cleaner with a cheap hat. Hey, Popeye,
you're a sailor... you can do better! Plus Olive can never decide if she
wants to date that jerk Bluto or not. The girl is just bad news.
#7 Petunia Pig
Remember her? Porky's girlfriend? She was a real zero. What was the
point of her anyway? To make Porky look good? Come on, who did they think
they're fooling. We all know Porky is gay.
#6 Pebbles & Bam-Bam, as teenagers
What were they thinking? Were they trying to cash in on the "Joanie loves
Chachi" thing? And how come every cartoon teenager plays in a crumby rock
band? An awful -- and thankfully shortlived -- idea.
#5 Pepe LePew
Hello, Warner Brothers, ever heard of sexual harassment? Let's take a good
look at this character; a horny, rapist skunk who's attracted to other
species! NOT good for the kids. Plus, worse still, he's French.
#4 Alan, from Josie and the Pussy Cats
How weak was this "Fred" clone? They even gave him an ascot, for crying
out loud. Well, I knew Fred. I grew up with Fred. Fred was like a
friend of mine. Let me tell you something...you're no Fred.
#3 Zan and Zana, the Wondertwins
How many times do we have to say it? Leave the crimefighting to the
professionals! "Form of... an idiot!" They should have been voted out of
the Hall of Justice a long time ago. There's no room for dead weight in
#2 Kazoo, from the Flintstones
It's like "Hmmm, a miniature, green spaceman who appears only to Fred
Flintstone isn't enough of a stretch. I know! Let's give him a snotty
London accent!" Um, could I get a drug test from Hanna Barbara, please?
#1 Scrappy Doo
And, really, who else COULD it be? This guy ruined Scooby Doo! Just came
in and ruined it! Scrappy is the Yoko Ono of Saturday morning cartoons.
I can't even talk about it anymore. It's too upsetting.
© 1996 Peter Langston