13 Aug

EE vs. CS vs. ...

Content-Type: text/plain Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2) From: Peter Langston <psl> Date: Tue, 13 Aug 96 15:18:45 -0700 To: Fun_People Subject: EE vs. CS vs. ... [This is a little reprise of engineer/mathematician jokes... -psl] How Different Professions Prove That All Odd Numbers Are Prime, given that: 3 is odd and it's prime, Mathematician: if you add 2 to any odd number you get the next odd number if you add 2, you get 5, which is also prime, therefore, by induction, all odd numbers are prime. Physicist: 5 is odd and it's prime, But these are all constants and should be considered equal (along with 2, 4, etc.) Since all numbers are equal to primes, they're all primes. Chemist: 5 is odd and it's prime, 7 is odd and it's prime, 9 is odd and it's, well, that's experimental error for you! 11 is odd and it's prime, Obviously, all odd numbers are prime. Engineer: 5 is odd and it's prime, 7 is odd and it's prime, 9 is odd and it's prime, 11 is odd and it's prime, Obviously, all odd numbers are prime. _____________________________________________________________________________ Forwarded-by: squeeze@voicenet.com (Bob Stein) Forwarded-by: liz@Paoli.ATM.LMCO.COM (Liz Bradley) The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate." The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced." The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go. The lawyer is put on the block, and again nothing happens -- he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime -- he is also set free. They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem ..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathametician are placed in seperate rooms and left with a can of food, but no can opener. A day later, the rooms are opened, one-by-one. In the first room, the engineer is snoring, with a battered, opened and emptied can. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he beat the can to its failure point. In the second room, the physicist is seen mouthing equations, with a can popped open beside him. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he examined the stress points of the can, applied pressure, and "pop!" In the third room, the mathematician is found sweating, and mumbling to himself, "Assume the can is open, assume the can is open ..."

© 1996 Peter Langston