The Comedian's Eye View from 8/16/96
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 16 Aug 96 10:31:37 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View from 8/16/96
Forwarded-by: Don Fitzpatrick <email@example.com>
At a convention with 1,990 delegates, only 54 are Black, 47 are Hispanic
and only 36 percent are women. Yet the casual television viewer has seen
a parade of minorities and women that suggest when it comes to casting
their TV show, Republicans are suddenly huge fans of affirmative action.
-- Scampaign '96, produced by Comedy USA <www.comedyusa.com/>
Grand Old Partying: You can't argue with he pacing of the Republican
convention, says Hy Faber. "They had a tribute to Reagan, who was a
two-term president. Then they had a speech by Bush, who was a one-term
president. Then Ford, who has a half-term president. An then they have
Speakers spent Tuesday dissing President Clinton. Says the Cutler Daily
Scoop, "Look at it this way, Bill: They didn't say anything worse about
you than what Dole used to say about Jack Kemp."
Adds Alex Kaseberg, "At least we know what Kato Kaelin is doing.
Apparently, he's the joke writer for the GOP."
Adds Faber, "Kemp may be a good choice for the Republicans but not that
good for comedy. I was hoping for a Dole-Bono ticket."
Calling for even tougher immigration laws, says Pete Navarro, "One
Republican delegate returned from an outing to Tijuana and expressed
alarm at how 'Mexicans have taken over the whole damn town.'"
Says Faber, "The Democrats will start their convention just as soon as
Jimmy Carter finishes building the convention hall."
In the news: "Last week scientists discovered compelling evidence of
life on Mars," says Bill Maher, "and as of yesterday it was the leading
contender for the nomination of the Reform Party."
Splitsville: The first issue of Divorce magazine is on newsstands this
"When you open it, 27 business reply cards from Jacoby & Meyers fall
"A subscription is free, but if you want to end it costs you $3,000
a month." (Jay Leno)
"They should call it Bitter Homes & Gardens." (Church)
"There's a fragrance sample -- but it's another woman's." (Church)
© 1996 Peter Langston