Be Careful On That Road Trip...
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 25 Sep 96 15:56:32 -0700
Subject: Be Careful On That Road Trip...
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LAWS ABOUT SEX IN VARIOUS STATES.
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so
requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to
take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or
holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members
of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're
nude. [Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!]
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have
twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a
couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on
the floor between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide
each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they
are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. [-I always
wondered why grandma addressed my letters to Master.... --BAH]
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious
officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk
his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out
of his car to investigate.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they
are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked
vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has
drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you
can't parachute on Sunday afternoons. [so all you married and dead women
.... have at it -BAH]
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a
man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the
boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a
sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed. [Sure it may
seem unfair, but if they published the name of the male, they probably
feared it would become a contest for all the males in Utah]
© 1996 Peter Langston