Important Information on India
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 10 Oct 96 16:13:33 -0700
Subject: Important Information on India
Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" <email@example.com>
Forwarded-by: firstname.lastname@example.org (Amitabha Roy)
Being from India, I get a lot of questions about my country.
Sometimes the questions do become rather exasperating.
Q: Say, do you guys have electricity in India?
A: Of course. We generate electricity by making an elephant run around a
field by setting fire to its tail.
Q: Do you have cars in India?
A: No. We only use elephants (and cows of course).
Q: Do you have enough food in India?
A: No. But when we get hungry we eat the elephants (and the cows of course).
Q: I hear that you actually have snake charmers with poisonous snakes roaming
A: Oh yes, I was a snake charmer once. In fact, check this out, I have one
up my pants right now!
Q: Do people have enough clothes to wear in India?
A: Sure. Everybody wears exclusively Calvin Klein underwear; it keeps
Q: Do you actually burn widows right after her husband's death?
A: No. We burn them whenever we want.
Q: Can women vote in India?
A: Vote? No; we just burn them.
Q: Do you have enough fuel in India?
A: I just told you about the women, didn't I?
Q: I hear you get great hash in India.
A: Not any more. The CIA keeps it all for the US market.
Q: Do you have "arranged" marriages in India?
A: Of course. We do like to organize things, you know...
Q: Do you speak Hindu ?
A: Yes. I also speak Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism.
Q: Are you and your family all Hindi ?
A: Oh yes, and we are also all Esperanto, Middle English, and Afrikaans.
Q: Where is India ?
A: Follow I5. You'll get there eventually.
Q: With so many religions, how do you stay united?
A: We share a common hatred of stupid Americans; why?
© 1996 Peter Langston