Fun_People Archive
14 Oct
SF Gator's Physical Exam

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 96 22:59:01 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: SF Gator's Physical Exam

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <>

From: Mike King <>

On October 10, the _San Francisco Chronicle_ (aka _Comical_) reported on the
results of the physical exam given to the alligator that was caught Tuesday
in Mountain Lake.  He's quite healthy.

Was the writer and/or editor trying to ensure the article remained G-rated?

   "Dunker gently stuck a finger up the gator's cloaca, which can be found
   on the gator's underside and also in the dictionary.  His trained digit
   told him that the gator was a male.  At the same time, he removed a
   leech that had attached itself to the spot.

   "'I can't speak for the alligator, but having the leech there probably
   didn't feel too good,' Dunker said.  'I'm being anthropomorphic.  If
   I had a leech attached where that one was, I'd be irritated, too.'"


From: Jonathan Levine <>
Subject: Re: SF Gator's Physical Exam

Of course, we here at are snickering a bunch over this.

You see, most of our hosts are named for anatomical references starting
with "c".  Don't ask me why.  It's just one of those things.  And, perhaps
inevitably, we wound up with a netBSD system named "clitoris".

As you might expect, it wasn't long before we got an indignant phone call
from a customer (we're an ISP) who took great offence at doing a "w" on
the machine he had shell access on and discovering one of us logged into
said machine from "clitoris".  The customer declined to identify himself.

Well, the ISP biz is a tough one, and we didn't consider this to be an
issue of such vital moral importance that we had to lose a customer over
it.  So we renamed the machine - .

Now, as indicated above, most people would have to look in the dictionary
in order to be offended by that one.  So we figured, fuck 'em, you can never
please someone who goes that far out of their way to become upset.

The best part, however, was the alternate definition offered by the edition
of the Pocket Oxford (early 60s) that we have in the office:

		A gathering place of moral evil.

Come to think of it, we just added an NT box to our network.  Not out of
choice, mind you, but to meet a specific customer's requirements.  Might
be time for a little hostname juggling around the shop...

prev [=] prev © 1996 Peter Langston []