Why I fired My Secretary
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 96 11:32:32 -0700
Subject: Why I fired My Secretary
Forwarded-by: "R. Dunbar Poor" <email@example.com>
Forwarded-by: Marion Wieting/Second Nature <Marion_Wieting@2nature.org>
<previous history deleted to provoke the innocent.>
Why I fired my secretary
Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot
that morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be
pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me. She
didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday. I said, well,
that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children came in
to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was
feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss,
Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon.
About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a
beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you
and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the
country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
day. We don't need to go back to the office. Do we?" I said, "No, I guess
not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and a cigarette and
she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and
slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I replied excitedly.
She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes, she came out...
... carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children.
All were singing Happy Birthday.
... and there on the couch I sat...
... with nothing on but my socks......
© 1996 Peter Langston