Fun_People Archive
28 Nov
The Comedian's Eye View of 11/29/96

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 28 Nov 96 12:15:45 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 11/29/96

Excerpted-from: 11/29/96 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday November 29, 1996

NATURE VERSUS NURTURE: "Have you heard those ads on the radio for these
all-natural, California-grown Thanksgiving turkeys?" asks Jay Leno.  "They
say they have no additives, no artificial coloring. They are 100% natural.
You know L.A. is probably the only place in America where you see bleached
blondes with silicone implants leave a tanning salon so they can go to the
market and get an all-natural turkey."

                               o  o  o

In the News: Nike is still employing underage workers in its overseas
factories. The proof, says Alex Kaseberg, is that "the motivational slogan
in one factory is, 'Just Do It...or you won't get any dessert.'"

o  Observes Bob Mills, "The Air Jordan XII limited edition model comes
autographed by Michael and the 7-year-old Ethiopian who stitched it together."

                               o  o  o

To mark the 25th anniversary this week of D.B. Cooper's parachuting into
Washington State with a stolen $200,000, Bill Williams says, "The last thing
he said before jumping out of the plane was 'Bob Dole will be president
before you ever get me.'"

                               o  o  o

O.J. Simpson testified at his civil trial. "I think the low point was when
he blamed everything on the evil bloodstain fairy," says Alex Pearlstein.

o  Leno observes: "Now if you're watching the civil trial, you know O.J.
testified he never, never struck his wife Nicole. Man, its bad enough he
has to find the real killers. Now he's gotta go look for the real wife
beaters too."
                               o  o  o

A survey shows that United Airlines serves the healthiest airline food. "The
report has sent shock waves through the world's airports," Alan Ray says.
"Somebody actually sampled the food."

o  Kinda like being named the New York Jets' most valuable player.  What
next? Most pleasant New York cabby?" (Life/Entertainment)

prev [=] prev © 1996 Peter Langston []