Fun_People Archive
15 Dec
The Comedian's Eye View of 12/16/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 15 Dec 96 16:04:59 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 12/16/96

Excerpted-from: 12/16/96 -- ShopTalk

                       Monday December 16, 1996

     "Cruella is stepping in to fill a gaping void that opened
      up when Nancy Reagan left the White House."

                        Michael Mustro reviewing "101 Dalmatians"
                        in Interview magazine


GIMME AN X: The TV ratings system will be announced this week. Says Argus
Hamilton, "Surveys show that Democrats object more to violence, while
Republicans object more to sex. That explains why there are more Democrats
than Republicans.

A new survey shows that sexual references on TV rose 65% in the past 10
years. Says Bob Mills, "Even more chilling: It shows that sitcom jokes
requiring canned laughter rose a whopping 87%."

IN THE NEWS:  A loose screw has been blamed for causing the hatch to jam
aboard the space shuttle Columbia. Says Premiere Morning Sickness, "oddly
enough, that's the same thing that caused Ross Perot to think he had a shot
at the White House."

O.J. Simpson's lawyers raised the possibility of a second assailant.  Say
Alan Ray, "They see two benefits from the argument.  Not only could it clear
their client, they'd probably get a call from Oliver Stone."

A Pennsylvania couple was convicted of having sex inside a Denny's
restaurant. Says Steve Voldseth, "I believe that's called the 'Grand Slam
Thank You Ma'am Breakfast.'"

Action star Jean-Claude van Damme has checked into a rehab clinic.  Says
Alex Pearlstein, "He broke three orderlies' ribs before someone finally
explained to him what 'kick the habit' means."

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