Fun_People Archive
7 Jan
Hebonics, already!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  7 Jan 97 18:52:58 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: Hebonics, already!

Forwarded-by: Scott Wyant <>

	H E B O N I C S

	Jewish English or "Hebonics"

The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language.
Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize
Hebonics as the language of many American Jews.

Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and
samples of phrases in standard English and Hebonics.

Samples of Pronunciation Characteristics

+ Jewish English or "Hebonics" hardens consonants at the ends of words.
	Thus, "hand"  becomes "handt."

+ The letter "W" is always pronounced as if it were a "V".
	Thus "walking" becomes "valking."

+ "R" sounds are transformed to a guttural utterance that is virtually
  impossible to spell in English.  It is "ghraining" "algheady."

Samples of Idiomatic Characteristics

+ Questions are always answered with questions:
    Question: "How do you feel?"
    Hebonics response: "How should I feel?"

+ The subject is often placed at the end of a sentence after a pronoun has
  been used at the beginning:
    "She dances beautifully, that girl."

+ The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "sh" to the front is used for
    mountains becomes "shmountains
    turtle becomes "shmurtle."

Sample Usage Comparisons:

Standard English Phrase		  Hebonics Phrase

"He walks slow"			  "Like a fly in the ointment he walks"
"Sorry, I do not know the time"	  "What do I look like, a clock?"
"I hope things turn out okay"	  "You should BE so lucky"
"You're sexy"			  (unknown concept)
"Anything can happen"		  "It is never so bad, it can't get worse"

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