How To Judge a Man's Character in the Toilet
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 97 13:14:36 -0800
Subject: How To Judge a Man's Character in the Toilet
Forwarded-by: firstname.lastname@example.org (Alex Colet)
HOW TO JUDGE A MAN'S CHARACTER IN THE TOILET
TIMID cannot piss if anyone is watching, pretends he has pissed,
and sneaks back later.
SOCIABLE joins pals to piss whether he wants to piss or not.
INDIFFERENT all urinals being occupied, uses sink.
NOSY whistles loudly, peeps at the next urinal to take a look
at the other fellow's tool.
SHOW OFF pisses without holding tool, adjusts tie at the same time.
ABSENT-MINDED unbuckles belt, loosens trousers, and pisses on his shirt.
WORRIED having spent the night out lately, take time out for
inspection of tool.
DISGRUNTLED stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to piss, farts,
farts again, and walks away muttering.
SNEAKY drops silent fart while pissing, sniffs, and looks
accusingly at the next fellow.
SLOPPY pisses on shoes, walks away with fly open, and adjusts
his balls fifteen minutes later.
LEARNED reads a pocketbook, magazine or newspaper while pissing.
AGGRESSIVE while pissing, bangs tool on side of urinal to keep off drops.
CHILDISH looks at bottom of urinal while pissing to watch bubbles.
CLEAN CUT stands two feet away from urinal to avoid stepping on
droplets and pisses on the floor.
CROSS-EYED stands over one urinal and pisses in the next.
SHY covers tool with both hands and pisses through fingers.
TALENTED presses tip of tool while pissing to create two jet streams.
GROSS pulls out loose hairs from balls while pissing.
DRUNKEN pulls out tool, sees two, puts one back in, and pisses in
© 1997 Peter Langston