Fun_People Archive
5 Feb
The Comedian's Eye View of 02/06/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  5 Feb 97 23:56:18 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 02/06/97

Excerpted-from: 02/06/97 -- ShopTalk

                      Thursday February 6, 1997

Capitol Beat: The president delivered his State of the Union address
Tuesday.  "President Clinton told Congress he needs its help in the war on
corruption.  The anti-corruption side is gaining on them." (Argus Hamilton)

"He specifically appealed for peace in the Middle East, Chechnya and on the
set of 'Victor/Victoria.'" (Bob Mills)

"The speech was good, but those Indonesian subtitles got annoying," observed
Alex Pearlstein.

In The News: "Geraldo Rivera says he will quit if OJ Simpson is not found
liable." Says Bill Maher, "That could be considered jury tampering."

"Does this verdict mean that OJ no longer has to go on with his grueling
search for the real killer?" -- Dave The Predictor (on Harris in the Morning)

"Late last night, OJ called and asked Kato Kaelin if he has a spare room he
can stay in." -- Paul Harris

"OJ was a little late getting to the courthouse yesterday.  He says traffic
was murder." -- Paul Harris

The government announced it will put organ donor forms in the tax forms it
mails out.  "What more do they want?" asks Jay Leno.  "My money isn't
enough?  They want my spleen?"

In the News: "Today is National Weather person's Day.  There's a 20% chance
no one will care." (BBS Briefs)

Entertainment: Pat Boone's new heavy metal album is doing well.  Says Jimmy
McConnell, "His new professional name will be Snoop Goodie Good."

20th Century Fox has agreed to purchase Richard Jewell's life story for half
a million dollars.  "Imagine how much he could have gotten if he had one."
(Steve Voldseth)

Action star Steven Seagal will travel with the Dalai Lama to Taiwan.  "The
Tibetan leader plans to teach Seagal the road to spiritual enlightenment
and Seagal will teach the Dalai Lama how to disembowel an intruder with a
shrimp fork." (Premiere Morning Sickness)

"Star Wars" has grossed $36 million.  "After 20 years a whole new generation
was introduced to the phrase '"Star Wars" action figures sold separately.'"
(Olympia Daily World)

"Okay, guess the year:  Star Wars is the #1 movie, Kiss has just completed
their most successful tour ever, and Pat Boone has a new album that's
selling like crazy.  Yes, welcome to 1997! (Paul Harris)

"Hillary Clinton was such a hit on Rosie O'Donnell's show that NBC wants
her to do a show for them on Thursday nights: "Suddenly Indicted!" (Paul

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