Fun_People Archive
26 Feb
The Comedian's Eye View of 02/27/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 26 Feb 97 19:23:25 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 02/27/97

Excerpted-from: 02/27/97 -- ShopTalk

                    Thursday February 27, 1997

"I cringe when I realize that there were children all across this nation
watching this program.  They were exposed to the violence of multiple
gunshot head wounds, vile language, full frontal nudity and irresponsible
sexual activity.  It simply should never have been allowed on public

		Rep. Tom Coburn (R-OK) commenting on
		NBC's broadcast of "Shindler's List"

"We think that Congressman Coburn's statement should send a chill through
every intelligent and fair-minded person in America.  This is exactly what
we find frightening about the 'helpful hand' of the government interfering
with television programming decisions...NBC is extremely proud of its
presentation of this unique award-winning film."

		NBC's Don Ohlmeyer responding to Rep. Coburn


President Clinton wants national math and reading standards for all kids.
"But what about history?  A recent survey says most ninth-graders believe
that Franklin D. Roosevelt invented Prozac and ended the Great Depression."
(Argus Hamilton)

Business Beat: Mobil Oil has a tiny remote you can use to speed up gas
purchases, says Jay Leno.  "You wave it in front of a gas pump, it turns it
on.  You don't need your wallet, you don't need your credit card.  You just
wave this thing, get whatever you want.  We have had that in L.A. for years.
It's called a handgun."

Kraft has joined Procter & Gamble's Folger's brand in jacking up the price
of its Maxwell House coffee.  Says Bob Mills, "The well-known slogan has
been changed to, 'Good to the last greed inspired price hike.'"

o "See that Starbucks sign," says Leno.  "3.9% financing available."

In the News: Ross Perot says he won't rule out a run for president in 2000.
"He's already out on the fund-raising trail," says Hamilton.  "This morning
he had breakfast by himself and raised $10 million."

The Justice Policy Institute says more money is spent building new prisons
than new college buildings.  "On the bright side, more prisoners than
college students earn degrees."  (Perisho)

Horror meister Clive Barker is getting into children's programming.  "As if
Barney isn't scary enough." (The Cutler Daily Scoop)

"Despite court rulings, a tax accounting firm in California is telling
people they can deduct the cost of marijuana as a medical expense," says
Leno.  "That means the IRS could end up owing Wilie Nelson money."

Three NBA refs have been indicted for tax fraud.  They allegedly traded
expensive airline tickets for cheaper ones, kept the cash and failed to
report it as income.  Says Jerry Perisho: "It's the first time in NBA
history that a traveling violation could result in 10 years in the federal

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post says this year's Sports Illustrated
swimsuit issue is one of his favorites "because it isn't cluttered with a
lot of, you know, words."

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