Fun_People Archive
3 Mar
The Comedian's Eye View of 03/03/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  3 Mar 97 00:17:23 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 03/03/97

Excerpted-from: 03/03/97 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday March 3, 1997

     "U2 kicked off their new tour in New York yesterday, making a
      surprise appearance at a downtown Kmart. Fellow Irish per-
      former Sinead O'Conner was also on hand, but she works there."

                                  Norm MacDonald, on SNL


Back at the White House: "President Clinton is really backpedaling," says
Joe Kevany.  "He says the sleepovers at the White House are a kind of
extension of Habitat for Humanity."

"Clinton says no, it was not about money, it was about friendship.  Give
him $100,000, you're his friend."  (Jay Leno)

In Other Government News: Congress is preparing new legislation designed to
ban human cloning.  Says Argus Hamilton, "Human clones would be easy to spot
in singles bars 20 years from now.  They all have the same astrological
sign- Pyrex."

GOP Rep. Tom A. Coburn of Oklahoma criticized NBC for showing "Schindler's
List" with its nudity and violence.  "Tom is a few channels short of a cable
system," says the Cutler Daily Scoop.

Kenneth Starr argued before the Supreme Court this week on behalf of the
Hughes Corp. against the Clinton administration.  "Next time he visits
Pepperdine, Starr should wander over to the law library and learn the
meaning of the phrase 'conflict of interest.'" (Daily Scoop)

Today in Business: "Lawyers for chemical heir John DuPont think they have
grounds for an appeal of his murder conviction," says Alan Ray.  "They
discovered he still has a lot of money."

Dennis Rodman met President Clinton when Clinton visited the Bulls' locker
room before a recent game.  "During the occasion," says Conan O'Brien, "an
extra secret service agent was assigned just to protect Clinton's groin."

Cameron Crowe, who wrote and directed "Jerry Maguire," followed superagent
Leigh Steinberg around in 1993 to see how he dealt with his sports clients.
During the NFL meetings, Crowe was in a hotel room with 49ers safety Tim
McDonald.  McDonald, smartly dressed, was sitting at a table with his
briefcase open and the CNN financial news on TV, when he said, "Show me the
money."  He should have copyrighted the phrase; then he wouldn't even need
an agent.

"Evidently Riddick Bowe misread the Marine recruiting poster," says Bob
Lacey.  "He thought it said, 'We need a few good minutes.'"

David Letterman on Bowe: "On the bright side, look at this--the guy spent
72 hours in a Marine Corps barracks, tying the old record held by Madonna."

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