The Farmer And The Pigs
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 97 23:56:27 -0800
Subject: The Farmer And The Pigs
THE FARMER AND THE PIGS
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them. After several weeks, he
notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The
farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to
display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are
pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will,
instead, lie down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs himself.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them into the woods, has sex
with them all, brings them back and, exhausted, goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing around. One more
try, he tells himself and proceeds to load them up and drive them to the
woods again. He spends all day shagging the pigs and upon returning home,
falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the
pigs. He asks his wife to look and tell him if the pigs are laying in the
mud. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking
© 1997 Peter Langston