The Comedian's Eye View of 4-3-97
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 97 16:25:04 -0800
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 4-3-97
Thursday April 3, 1997
"The Balding Pill: It makes men think their hair
looks better and turns them into lousy lovers.
Who needs that when we have beer?"
- Jim Mullen
He Wrote the Songs: An Arizona judge has filed suit against Barry Manilow,
claiming he has a constant ringing in his ears after attending a Manilow
concert in 1993. "But it turns out the lawsuit was frivolous. Lawyers
found out that the four other people in the elevator were completely
"Judge Philip Espinosa said in a deposition that he could put up with the
ringing, but now he's beginning to hear John Tesh," says Bob Mills.
Elsewhere in the Nation: "Fox TV star Martin Lawrence was arrested in L.A.
for punching a guy in a club," says Argus Hamilton. "He's been warned now.
Under California law, one more strike and he has to spend seven to 10 years
on Court TV."
President Clinton officiated at the annual Easter Egg Roll on Monday at the
White House, says Hamilton. "Hundreds of children came, some still
clutching the broken pieces of their piggy banks."
Jury selection in the Oklahoma City bombing trial has begun in Denver. "The
biggest mass murder in U.S. history- shouldn't this be the 'trial of the
century'?" asks the Cutler Daily Scoop. "Oh, we forgot. Timothy McVeigh
didn't rush for 2,000 yards."
Meanwhile in Brentwood, "Looks like OJ is gonna lose his house, gonna have
to move," says Jay Leno. "That's gotta be easy, being a mover for OJ, don't
you think? He doesn't like other people carrying his things- 'Hey, I'll
get that bag.' 'Hey, don't open that golf thing.' 'Hey, I'm carrying that
out to the car.'"
Tipper Gore hosted five fund-raising coffees in 1995-'96, according to White
House records released over the weekend. "You could tell Tipper had been
involved. The records had been labeled." (Scoop)
© 1997 Peter Langston